Welcome to our blog – featuring storytellers around the world, young and old, single and married, across faith traditions and the sexual identity and gender identity spectrums, writing authentically about our intersections with faith, sexuality, and masculinity.

We don’t all agree with one another, and you may not agree with everything you read. We invite you to enter each of our stories with a spirit of curiosity. Disagreeing is acceptable; if you leave a comment, please be respectful.

Eugene 1/15/25 Eugene 1/15/25

“Close”: A Movie About Affectionate Friendship Between Boys

I was stoked to hear about the 2022 movie, "Close." After watching the trailer, I was instantly sold. Two boys are shown to be close friends, even physically affectionate with one another to the point that their classmates assume them to be gay.

Ian 12/5/24 Ian 12/5/24

A Rumor of Masculinity at My First YOBBERS Retreat

It would be easy to write a few paragraphs about how virtuous all these wonderful men were; how they showed me the (gender-neutral) love of Jesus; how bravely they pursued vulnerability with one another. But I want to do something stupider. I want to write about a vibe, an aesthetic, a rumor of masculinity which I seemed to detect at my first YOBBERS Retreat.

Guest Author 11/29/24 Guest Author 11/29/24

A Place to Just Be at the YOBBERS Retreat

It's easier to remain in the cage even when you can leave, because it's familiar. It's normal. It's hard to ask others for help. It's hard to just...be. Alone. In your own skin.

Sam 11/22/24 Sam 11/22/24

Affirmations for All at This Year's YOBBERS Retreat

So much of YOB life (and, indeed, Side B life in general) is in the unofficial "meetings"; by this, I mean all the conversations to/from retreats and conferences. It's in the downtime chats and interactions that spontaneously happen. This was driven home especially this year as I wrote and read affirmation notes to and from my fellow YOBBERS, a new component of this year's retreat. Small things can be so impactful.

Guest Author 11/19/24 Guest Author 11/19/24

The Search for Masculine Belonging at My Second YOBBERS Retreat

My time leading up to this year's YOBBERS Retreat came with mixed emotions. I knew a few familiar YOBBERS wouldn't be returning, but I also knew I'd recognize many other guys attending. Anxiety lingered. Had I really built the kind of connections that would help me feel at home this year?

Michael 11/14/24 Michael 11/14/24

My Struggle to be Around Brothers at this Year's YOBBERS Retreat

I found myself constantly dealing with doubt, low self-esteem, loneliness, and feeling unloved. As I sat there looking around, I saw so many guys, including the newbies, hanging out with one another, playing games, laughing, and hugging. I felt like I was being avoided because of my stuttering.

Tom 11/6/24 Tom 11/6/24

"At Home?" at This Year's YOBBERS Retreat

I continually wrestle with this dynamic in leadership of Your Other Brothers: where do I keep proper distance in the name of boundaries and self-care, and where do I let someone else enter my birdcage? Can I do both well? Can I lead and participate well?

Tom 7/31/24 Tom 7/31/24

I Just Wanted to Be a Man and Finish the Race

Not quite finishing the bike race hurts way beyond this strain in my shoulder. And "not quite" feels like such a metaphor for my masculinity.

Seraphim 7/18/24 Seraphim 7/18/24

The Challenges and Callings in My Mixed-Orientation Marriage

Together, we are still invited to the same calling in marriage: to bear the image of God and represent Christ and the Church in our love for one another. Why would I share this part of our married life, my sexuality, which some may see as so private so as only to be known to one's priest or pastor?

Michael 7/10/24 Michael 7/10/24

The Masks We Wear for Others

I understand some people have to portray themselves in certain ways for cultural reasons, or because they don't want to hurt their families. But how many more mornings are we willing to wear this mask around people just to cry into our pillows at night?

Alex 7/3/24 Alex 7/3/24

Unpacking the Soul Wounds of Masculine Leadership

For this first entry on masculinity, I want to share my experiences with masculine leadership, including how the lack of positive, consistent examples of masculine leadership has affected how I interact with and think about the men who are supposed to lead me.

Eugene 6/28/24 Eugene 6/28/24

Feeling Burned Out on Queerness

I feel such a helpless frustration that my interest in the arts automatically pigeonholes me into a crowd like this. And so begins my burnout on queerness and this longing for straight friends, starting with acceptance amongst straight guys.

Noah 6/11/24 Noah 6/11/24

From David and Jonathan to Heaven and Hell

How did we go from Jonathan and David to heaven and hell? What exactly happened between us? I've replayed every variable in my head over and over: I was too obsessive, I was too much, I was never enough, he was never enough, it's all his fault, it’s all my fault, he caught feelings.

Noah 5/31/24 Noah 5/31/24

Was It Friendship or Something More with Him?

Was I in love with him? Did we have the deepest friendship, or was it actually something more? This is for the lot of us who have gone from strangers to friends to kin to nothing.

Seraphim 5/17/24 Seraphim 5/17/24

To Recognize the Fairness of Men

To recognize Christ as fairer than the sons of men, maybe I must first recognize the fairness of men themselves. Not boil down and shy away from the patterns of fairness I behold in them, but simply say, "Hey, he is very beautiful."

Tom 5/3/24 Tom 5/3/24

Beware of "Pig Butchering" Scams that Prey on Your Sexuality

The other person thinks it's an accidental-turned-whimsical exchange, when in fact it's quite deliberate and nefarious. This Last Week Tonight episode details people who were scammed financially because they thought they were building a legitimate, longer-term relationship with this conversational or otherwise caring person on the other line. It's tragic how susceptible people can be to potential love. I know I am.

Alex 4/18/24 Alex 4/18/24

Uncovering the Soul Wound of My Sexuality

I learned that it wasn't safe for me to talk about or process through any of this struggle. Not at this church. And that is just what I did for the rest of high school. I didn't talk about my sexuality with anyone at that church again.

Michael 4/10/24 Michael 4/10/24

Why Do I Have These Sexual Dreams?

I honestly don't know the meaning behind dreams – whether they're because of the subconscious, or for something God wants to tell us, like He did for people in the Bible. Are dreams, in part, resulting from what's happened to us, things that we need to relive, or are they something altogether different?

Eugene 4/3/24 Eugene 4/3/24

What Do I Still Believe About Bro Cuddling?

Looking back on those bro cuddling blogs years later, after experiencing much more bro cuddling, how does it all hold up? Have any of my thoughts or feelings changed around the subject? Or have I perhaps received some new insights, especially after a lot of cuddle mileage?

Noah 3/27/24 Noah 3/27/24

I'm Giving Up My Way for Lent

This year for Lent, I felt like the Lord told me to give up "selfishness." But what the heck does that mean? Isn't that kind of...generic? Vague? A little too open-ended? Perfect, I can open the door for others before opening it for myself. Check. Well, let's back up a bit: I'm 27 years old, I'm an actor, and this last year has been a whirlwind, at best.

Our Storytellers

Tom Zuniga

YOB DIRECTOR, PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m an author of two memoirs, and I write and edit YOB’s blogs. I also love podcasting with the boyz! I’m an INFJ, Enneagram 4, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love traveling, and one of my greatest joys is anticipating the next big escapade. When I’m not wandering, I live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. My favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
Ryan

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, and long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my “comfort music” is about being far from home and/or returning home. I’m an Enneagram 9 if you’re into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!
Matt

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m the board chair of our nonprofit ministry, Your Other Family. I have a slight southern accent, an addiction to sweet tea, and a smile on my face every time I hear James Taylor sing about “going to Carolina.” The older I get, I find myself resonating more and more with that old “Footprints in the Sand” poem. And I love reflecting and writing about all the whens and the ways God has carried me.
Eugene

BLOGGER

I’m a 30-something still trying to find my way in the world. Lover of all things creative, I am a drawer with an intuitive mind while also a deep thinker. I can be a person of extreme opposites: one moment a lone wolf, the next a social butterfly; one moment joyful and optimistic, yet sad and melancholic the next. As I came to terms with my SSA I met fellow SSA Christians and formed deep, intimate bonds. I’ve always longed for brotherhood and, at last, I have found it after years of social isolation. I am glad to be part of this community of bloggers and share my stories and struggles, joys and sorrows, dreams and longings.
Michael

BLOGGER
For years, I distanced myself from God and the Bible, feeling hurt, confused, and rejected by the Church and Christians whenever I sought support with my sexuality. After four decades as a Christian, I now understand it’s time to embrace the path God has for me, rather than resist it. I’m sharing my journey here with openness, honesty, and vulnerability as I reflect on my ongoing pursuit of faith and connection with God. I hope my words will inspire and bless you as I navigate this transformative chapter of my spiritual journey with authenticity and courage.
Alex

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Calling in from Los Angeles, the City of Angels! Originally from a quiet town in Georgia, I answered God’s call to leave the green forests of my youth. I am a bi, Thai-American Christian with an itch for adventure, a knack for writing, a forever gamer, and a love of all things 80’s (primarily music and movies). After coming to terms with my sexuality in 2014, I wanted to share the story of how God walked through this journey with me. Following His lead to be an active member of the Side B Christian community, I want to create a bridge between the LGBTQ+ community and the Church, where queer people can learn about the God who loves them.
Sam

BLOGGER
Growing up with a physical disability and then realizing I was attracted to other dudes seemed to be a recipe for disaster. While it has been a disaster at times, I tend to think the Lord has used both my disability and my “gayness” for His glory. It seems as though the Lord has blessed me with both so that He may teach more people His love through me. I may certainly share similar experiences with other disabled or SSA individuals, but I encourage you to get to know them for their own perspective.
Seraphim

BLOGGER
My wife and I aspire to parent a troop of fiery children toward the Kingdom. When not putting out fires, I headbang to too much metalcore and strength train to the point of remembrance of death. As the chief of sinners, I do not have the blessing to instruct on behalf of the Orthodox Church with respect to guys who lust after other guys. However, for as long as my priest finds blogging a profitable processing tool, I pray that these pieces from a dude-loving Ortho-dad bring light and healing where they are needed most.
Aaron

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Financial professional by day and SSA author by night, I have the privilege of discussing people’s most private affairs: their money and their sexuality (though typically not at the same time). When I’m not discussing people’s darkest secrets, I am a reader, gamer, and enjoyer of the outdoors. For those who care, I am an ISFP and Enneagram Type 6; for those who don’t, suffice it to say I’m easy-going and enjoy both time alone and with friends. Jesus is the author of my story, and I look forward to sharing His work in my life!
Andrew

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Originally a Midwest native, I’m currently living my best life in SoCal, exploring the beauty of the world around me through poetry, prose, photography, and the eyes of others. When I’m not hanging out with the people I love, I can usually be found buying things I don’t need or gazing pensively out the nearest window. I hope my words can encourage you, wherever you are in your journey toward wholeness.
Keegan

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’ve been involved with YOB for several years now. I’m in graduate school pursuing a Master of Social Work degree, and I like spending time with people I love, reading, poetry, and running. I was raised Catholic, falling in love with Jesus when I was fourteen. My journey of faith has also had a parallel journey with sexuality. It took me quite some time to sift it all out, but I currently identify as bisexual. I’m looking forward to having you along for this journey!
Simon

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’m one of YOB’s non-Americans – a British guy living in rural Oxfordshire, England, where I work as a writer for a Christian charity. I have an identical twin (he’s straight) and grew up as a pastor’s kid, and both of those things continue to shape me in mostly positive ways. I’ll forever be battling through British reserve and fear of emotional honesty, but bear with me. Oh, and I love cats.