Welcome to our blog – featuring storytellers around the world, young and old, single and married, across faith traditions and the sexual identity and gender identity spectrums, writing authentically about our intersections with faith, sexuality, and masculinity.

We don’t all agree with one another, and you may not agree with everything you read. We invite you to enter each of our stories with a spirit of curiosity. Disagreeing is acceptable; if you leave a comment, please be respectful.

Tom 3/21/24 Tom 3/21/24

Do I Fast to Punish Myself or Meet with God?

Do I fast because I truly desire to hear from Him more clearly, walk with Him more closely, and feel less spiritually cloudy? Or do I fast because, well, it's comfortable to be uncomfortable? Because it almost feels good to deprive, if not punish my body – particularly after I sin?

Alex 3/13/24 Alex 3/13/24

Defining the Soul Wounds of the Queer Christian

It's no secret that the LGBT+ community has a complicated history with the Christian church. This culture war has bled into the church for decades, resulting in those who experience same-sex attraction in their congregations to feel uncared for, unloved, and at worst, excommunicated from the church community. These experiences create soul wounds.

Keegan 3/6/24 Keegan 3/6/24

Where the Sparrow Finds a Home

If you're at all familiar with YOB, you're probably aware that little sparrows have infiltrated nearly every corner of our community. They're in the banner of our website, the centerpiece of our logo, and even the tagline of our podcast: "Even the sparrow finds a home," which comes from Psalm 84. But did you know that sparrows are really, really small?

Tom 2/29/24 Tom 2/29/24

5 Times My Heart Has Swelled as a Man

Once upon a time I wrote about five times I've felt like a man. As we wind down the theme of "Love Month" at YOB, I started thinking about some instances when my heart has swelled, or exploded, or some other symphonic verb meant to translate the depths of safety, care, and affection I've experienced with other men. This isn't a "top 5" or hardly exhaustive list, but these are five stories that come to mind...

Sam 2/26/24 Sam 2/26/24

I Crushed on Him Before I Knew I Was Gay

I met a friend named Rick at my first meeting of the Christian Student Ministry. We talked briefly at the meeting, and then more the next morning over breakfast. From those earliest moments with Rick, I felt all the feelings of a crush – though I didn't realize it at the time. While I obviously felt a physical attraction to this guy, I also felt an emotional, mental, and spiritual attraction that even now is difficult to explain.

Michael 2/21/24 Michael 2/21/24

What I Want from My Perfect Fantasy Guy

Even if all the sexual stuff with men is wrong in God's eyes, I still just want to be with a man physically from time to time. Is that wrong too? Does God really care if I share my bed with another guy, as long as there's no sex?

Guest Author 2/16/24 Guest Author 2/16/24

The First Man to Tell Me He Loved Me

From day one, I found my teacher attractive – not in a physical sense but in how he conducted himself. He told us, "I want you all to know that I love you. I don't care what you may think or what others tell you, but I love you."

Eugene 2/12/24 Eugene 2/12/24

Was He My First Childhood Crush or Something Else?

It's hard to classify some of my attachments to other men as "crushes," per se. Emotional fixation is a more accurate term, I think. When I fixate on a guy, I'm not imagining him as a lover or sex partner. I'm more imagining an ideal life where he is a close friend or, yes, even a brother.

Guest Author 2/7/24 Guest Author 2/7/24

What Do I Do With My Male Crushes?

Looking back, I cringe at the sheer childishness of some of these entries. I may as well have been giggling and kicking my feet and drawing little hearts while writing them. There's no unifying "type" to these physically diverse male crushes beyond "he was nice to me for longer than 30 seconds and feels safe."

Tom 1/31/24 Tom 1/31/24

The Masculine Uncertainty of Being Uncircumcised

How does this "normal boy" turned "normal man" feel about his naked body? His penis? I'm still unsure of many of the answers to these questions. From the inside out, I've struggled to feel normal (comfortable) in my own skin. This masculine body. Starting with that particular appendage.

Michael 1/23/24 Michael 1/23/24

How My Mom and Sisters Stress Me Into Illness

I honestly didn't think I'd write anything else about my mom, basically feeling as if I'd said it all the first time around. But turns out I was wrong. I've had some health issues through the years, including six strokes. I had a session with a psychiatrist, telling her how my mom and sisters are the direct cause of my stress, making my catatonic episodes worse each time.

Alex 1/16/24 Alex 1/16/24

The Healing Power of Holding Hands with Another Man

I always feel this nervousness attached to holding hands in public. If I want to hold hands with a friend, what will others think of me? What will they think of us? Will they assume we are a couple? Will they say something? Will they be aggressive, or will they ignore us?

Guest Author 1/9/24 Guest Author 1/9/24

Christmastime Cuddling and the Muddling of Touch

How was this past Christmas reinvigorated for me? Well, this song helped clarify the good parts of my sexuality related to human touch, deeply rooted in the natural instinct common to all humans since birth. I was born with a longing to be comforted, to be held, to be swaddled, to be cuddled. As I've aged, those same good touch instincts were partially absorbed by my sexuality, and now they're muddled.

Guest Author 12/15/23 Guest Author 12/15/23

A Prodigal Welcomed Home at this YOBBERS Retreat

I joined Your Other Brothers back in 2017. I experienced the first and second camp retreats in good ole North Carolina, but then I took a break from YOB the next two years. Why? Because I was tired of it.

Guest Author 12/12/23 Guest Author 12/12/23

Will I Experience Renewal at this YOBBERS Retreat?

I entered my first YOBBERS retreat hoping for renewal out of this weekend. But would I really get that renewal? Would I see a refresh of strength – mentally, physically, spiritually?

Guest Author 12/8/23 Guest Author 12/8/23

The Anxiety for Belonging at My First YOBBERS Retreat

On the one hand, I wanted the opportunity to meet and engage with a community whom I've deeply desired connection, and this retreat would also occur over my fall break; on the other hand, I was deeply anxious and afraid of going and then feeling isolated and alone.

Sam 12/6/23 Sam 12/6/23

Jesus is the Vision for this YOBBERS Retreat and Beyond

My biggest takeaway from this year's retreat was simply continuing to do this Side B life with other believers. One of the central themes of that Mary of Bethany message was "Jesus is the vision." I love that statement so much. It's probably going to be written numerous times in my journal, and I imagine it will find its way into future blogs. I'm so grateful for brothers also pursuing this same vision of Jesus.

Guest Author 12/4/23 Guest Author 12/4/23

Free to Be Me: A First-Time YOBBER's Retreat Experience

Something else that astonished me over the weekend was how much like myself I felt; how proud I was to be seen in the company of my fellow queer brothers; how un-worried I was about what anybody else thought. That's not like me. At least not how I have been.

Guest Author 11/28/23 Guest Author 11/28/23

Inviting Jesus into the Messiness After the YOBBERS Retreat

Going into this retreat, your boy was stressed. Stressed just from day-to-day existing. Looking back and evaluating my spiritual condition at the time, I could not slow down long enough to have one simple conversation with God. Long enough for my brain and my heart to catch up to each other.

Guest Author 11/25/23 Guest Author 11/25/23

Finding Rest and True Joy at My First YOBBERS Retreat

Anticipation was running high. This would be my first retreat since joining the YOB community last year. A poorly timed illness prevented me from attending previously, so my heart was more than ready for a weekend away with my other brothers. And God provided.

Our Storytellers

Tom Zuniga

YOB DIRECTOR, PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m an author of two memoirs, and I write and edit YOB’s blogs. I also love podcasting with the boyz! I’m an INFJ, Enneagram 4, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love traveling, and one of my greatest joys is anticipating the next big escapade. When I’m not wandering, I live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. My favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
Ryan

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, and long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my “comfort music” is about being far from home and/or returning home. I’m an Enneagram 9 if you’re into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!
Matt

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m the board chair of our nonprofit ministry, Your Other Family. I have a slight southern accent, an addiction to sweet tea, and a smile on my face every time I hear James Taylor sing about “going to Carolina.” The older I get, I find myself resonating more and more with that old “Footprints in the Sand” poem. And I love reflecting and writing about all the whens and the ways God has carried me.
Eugene

BLOGGER

I’m a 30-something still trying to find my way in the world. Lover of all things creative, I am a drawer with an intuitive mind while also a deep thinker. I can be a person of extreme opposites: one moment a lone wolf, the next a social butterfly; one moment joyful and optimistic, yet sad and melancholic the next. As I came to terms with my SSA I met fellow SSA Christians and formed deep, intimate bonds. I’ve always longed for brotherhood and, at last, I have found it after years of social isolation. I am glad to be part of this community of bloggers and share my stories and struggles, joys and sorrows, dreams and longings.
Michael

BLOGGER
For years, I distanced myself from God and the Bible, feeling hurt, confused, and rejected by the Church and Christians whenever I sought support with my sexuality. After four decades as a Christian, I now understand it’s time to embrace the path God has for me, rather than resist it. I’m sharing my journey here with openness, honesty, and vulnerability as I reflect on my ongoing pursuit of faith and connection with God. I hope my words will inspire and bless you as I navigate this transformative chapter of my spiritual journey with authenticity and courage.
Alex

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Calling in from Los Angeles, the City of Angels! Originally from a quiet town in Georgia, I answered God’s call to leave the green forests of my youth. I am a bi, Thai-American Christian with an itch for adventure, a knack for writing, a forever gamer, and a love of all things 80’s (primarily music and movies). After coming to terms with my sexuality in 2014, I wanted to share the story of how God walked through this journey with me. Following His lead to be an active member of the Side B Christian community, I want to create a bridge between the LGBTQ+ community and the Church, where queer people can learn about the God who loves them.
Sam

BLOGGER
Growing up with a physical disability and then realizing I was attracted to other dudes seemed to be a recipe for disaster. While it has been a disaster at times, I tend to think the Lord has used both my disability and my “gayness” for His glory. It seems as though the Lord has blessed me with both so that He may teach more people His love through me. I may certainly share similar experiences with other disabled or SSA individuals, but I encourage you to get to know them for their own perspective.
Seraphim

BLOGGER
My wife and I aspire to parent a troop of fiery children toward the Kingdom. When not putting out fires, I headbang to too much metalcore and strength train to the point of remembrance of death. As the chief of sinners, I do not have the blessing to instruct on behalf of the Orthodox Church with respect to guys who lust after other guys. However, for as long as my priest finds blogging a profitable processing tool, I pray that these pieces from a dude-loving Ortho-dad bring light and healing where they are needed most.
Aaron

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Financial professional by day and SSA author by night, I have the privilege of discussing people’s most private affairs: their money and their sexuality (though typically not at the same time). When I’m not discussing people’s darkest secrets, I am a reader, gamer, and enjoyer of the outdoors. For those who care, I am an ISFP and Enneagram Type 6; for those who don’t, suffice it to say I’m easy-going and enjoy both time alone and with friends. Jesus is the author of my story, and I look forward to sharing His work in my life!
Andrew

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Originally a Midwest native, I’m currently living my best life in SoCal, exploring the beauty of the world around me through poetry, prose, photography, and the eyes of others. When I’m not hanging out with the people I love, I can usually be found buying things I don’t need or gazing pensively out the nearest window. I hope my words can encourage you, wherever you are in your journey toward wholeness.
Keegan

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’ve been involved with YOB for several years now. I’m in graduate school pursuing a Master of Social Work degree, and I like spending time with people I love, reading, poetry, and running. I was raised Catholic, falling in love with Jesus when I was fourteen. My journey of faith has also had a parallel journey with sexuality. It took me quite some time to sift it all out, but I currently identify as bisexual. I’m looking forward to having you along for this journey!
Simon

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’m one of YOB’s non-Americans – a British guy living in rural Oxfordshire, England, where I work as a writer for a Christian charity. I have an identical twin (he’s straight) and grew up as a pastor’s kid, and both of those things continue to shape me in mostly positive ways. I’ll forever be battling through British reserve and fear of emotional honesty, but bear with me. Oh, and I love cats.