Welcome to our blog – featuring storytellers around the world, young and old, single and married, across faith traditions and the sexual identity and gender identity spectrums, writing authentically about our intersections with faith, sexuality, and masculinity.

We don’t all agree with one another, and you may not agree with everything you read. We invite you to enter each of our stories with a spirit of curiosity. Disagreeing is acceptable; if you leave a comment, please be respectful.

Guest Author 11/21/23 Guest Author 11/21/23

Impressions of the YOBBERS Retreat from the Heart of a Mom

As I left, one of these guys thanked me for showing the group what a mother-son relationship should look like. That was definitely food for thought on my long drive home! So many thoughts ran through my head and heart.

Alex 11/16/23 Alex 11/16/23

Renewing Hope and Forming a Liturgy for Brothers at the YOBBERS Retreat

I believe that if I hadn't come to this retreat, I wouldn't have found this perspective shift – especially with my brother's encouragement. Perhaps I did need to have my hope renewed. My time with my brothers that weekend would facilitate this renewal, refocusing our eyes on the source of our hope, our Lord Jesus Christ.

Guest Author 11/8/23 Guest Author 11/8/23

A Straight Guy Goes on the YOBBERS Retreat

I'd be spending the weekend with an entire group of gay/SSA/bi/queer men. Something I’d never done before. But, you know, YOLO. I'd told one of my friends from church, "It will probably be a lot like a typical Christian men's retreat." "Except with more hugging," he replied. But, really, why was I going?

Tom 11/2/23 Tom 11/2/23

Five Retreats Later and I'm Still Figuring This Out

Despite all the incredible people in our online community, I've recognized my need for more men in my city on whom I can depend. This has been a sobering searching process because YOB has become such a pillar of my identity. If I'm no longer close or as intentional with a large lot of our YOB community, who even am I?

Guest Author 10/25/23 Guest Author 10/25/23

Am I Masculine Enough? A "Barbie" Reflection

This complicated relationship with masculinity has followed me throughout my life, especially as I've gradually come to terms with what it means to be a gay man following Jesus. Even now, I struggle to use the word "man" to describe myself. I can come to terms with the word "gay" or the word "Christian," but "man" doesn't feel like something I am.

Matt 8/31/23 Matt 8/31/23

As Spring Melts the Shame of My Sexuality

When I finally acknowledged my sexuality as something God could use for His glory and my good, it became something that endeared me to others rather than only alienate me from them. Sexuality was no longer just a source of shame; it became a catalyst for connection.

Guest Author 8/24/23 Guest Author 8/24/23

The First Step in My Healing with Sexuality

I was just about to graduate and launch out into the world, and I couldn't hide from the truth any longer. I'm homosexual. That was the only language I had for it at the time. There was no way I could have used the word gay, because I sure wasn't happy; quite the opposite, in fact. I was devastated.

Michael 8/17/23 Michael 8/17/23

Another Sexual Addiction Begins with Pornography

I found myself getting sucked into a world of fantasy. Porn was way better than watching some blockbuster: I could still be with guys without actually being with them. After all, I never cared about those guys anyway. It was all about me and getting off. The more I watched porn, the more I was hooked.

Guest Author 8/2/23 Guest Author 8/2/23

When Body Image Meets the Reality of Aging

Ah, body image. I suspect nearly all of us wrestle with it in some form or another, and in different ways – whether we’re gay/same-sex attracted or straight. These days for me, that wrestling with body image is around aging.

Sam 7/20/23 Sam 7/20/23

Embracing a New Liturgical Faith After Revoice and YOB Retreats

Perhaps it was the touch of melancholy in me that many other "Side B" Christians also feel, or simply being a disabled man, or maybe even a combination of the two – the fact that I have often felt both a physical and mental peace listening to classical music. Whatever it was, my soul felt ministered to in a previously unknown way.

Tom 7/12/23 Tom 7/12/23

That Time Another Side B Guy Sexted Me on Facebook Messenger

You know, after fifteen years of blogging about gay things and masculine things and all the other intermingled, messy faith things, I often feel like I've run out of stories to tell here. Gay kisses, wet dreams, fetishes – what on earth is there left to say?? Ah, but then I wake up one day and suddenly remember that time another "Side B" guy from a Facebook group asked if he could do something to my genitals. Ah, yes – a new story to tell. Glory be.

Matt 6/29/23 Matt 6/29/23

My Gay Secret Led Me to Becoming an Other Brother

I spent most of my twenties trying my best to be straight. I dated women and watched ESPN and prayed and prayed for the gay to go away. I don't suppose there was anything wrong with all that. But at some point I had to acknowledge the reality that God doesn't always remove challenges. He always works through them, though.

Michael 6/16/23 Michael 6/16/23

To Be in Hiding No Longer

I was so afraid of what people thought of me that I was willing to hide who I was from family, friends, the world – and to some degree, myself. I was willing to live a life of lies to be accepted. I explained that's just how things were back then. Sadly, some people are still living this way.

Guest Author 6/7/23 Guest Author 6/7/23

A "Side B Manifesto" for Pride Month and Beyond

I've thought a lot about writing a manifesto for Side B people. In fact, I've written multiple drafts of a manifesto for a few years now, but I've never been satisfied with the result. In the end, I figured I should get one of those drafts out there, so that people can imagine what Side B Gay people are advocating for. So, here it is...an incomplete rough draft of the Side B Manifesto.

Sam 5/31/23 Sam 5/31/23

When Supposed Straight Guys Come Out

As we got started I began with, "Well, you know I'm same-sex attracted." He then interjected, "Actually, so am I." I only had about a million questions for him at this point, but I stayed quiet and let him talk.

Matthew 5/24/23 Matthew 5/24/23

So, I Told a Girl I Like Her

She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and she was about to move for a job opportunity in a couple of weeks. We were good friends, and we'd hung out a few times, both by ourselves and within groups. But there was just never a good time to talk about how I felt about her. If I didn't get to talk to her this morning, then I might never have another chance!

Guest Author 5/10/23 Guest Author 5/10/23

The Gift of Love in Your Other Brothers

YOB gave me hope, because even though I was 55 years old I had struggled accepting myself since my teen years. I had never seen myself as anything but subhuman, unworthy, and a complete reprobate because I had feelings and desires for other men.

Michael 5/3/23 Michael 5/3/23

How My First 29 Years of Sex Addiction Ends

I'd already been with German guys, so I thought it was a good idea see what guys from other countries were like. I figured the chances of ever again being with other guys from that many countries would be slim. The sad part about having sex with all these men was that I never once gave thought to my relationship with God. It was all about me and those European men.

Guest Author 4/26/23 Guest Author 4/26/23

I Prayed for the Love of a Soul Brother

How I wish there could be someone here, of a similar position in life, with whom I could fully relate. Someone with whom I could bare my soul, with whom I could freely express brotherly intimacy – a soul brother, one could say. That is what I crave.

Sam 4/20/23 Sam 4/20/23

The Good, the Bad, and the Surprises of Coming Out

The "honeymoon phase" of coming out to Todd was certainly short-lived. Over the weeks meeting with him at Bible Study, I shared a few more details about my ongoing struggle. One night while I shared, he rather bluntly said, "Well, you can't be gay and be a Christian."

Our Storytellers

Tom Zuniga

YOB DIRECTOR, PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m an author of two memoirs, and I write and edit YOB’s blogs. I also love podcasting with the boyz! I’m an INFJ, Enneagram 4, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love traveling, and one of my greatest joys is anticipating the next big escapade. When I’m not wandering, I live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. My favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
Ryan

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, and long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my “comfort music” is about being far from home and/or returning home. I’m an Enneagram 9 if you’re into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!
Matt

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m the board chair of our nonprofit ministry, Your Other Family. I have a slight southern accent, an addiction to sweet tea, and a smile on my face every time I hear James Taylor sing about “going to Carolina.” The older I get, I find myself resonating more and more with that old “Footprints in the Sand” poem. And I love reflecting and writing about all the whens and the ways God has carried me.
Eugene

BLOGGER

I’m a 30-something still trying to find my way in the world. Lover of all things creative, I am a drawer with an intuitive mind while also a deep thinker. I can be a person of extreme opposites: one moment a lone wolf, the next a social butterfly; one moment joyful and optimistic, yet sad and melancholic the next. As I came to terms with my SSA I met fellow SSA Christians and formed deep, intimate bonds. I’ve always longed for brotherhood and, at last, I have found it after years of social isolation. I am glad to be part of this community of bloggers and share my stories and struggles, joys and sorrows, dreams and longings.
Michael

BLOGGER
For years, I distanced myself from God and the Bible, feeling hurt, confused, and rejected by the Church and Christians whenever I sought support with my sexuality. After four decades as a Christian, I now understand it’s time to embrace the path God has for me, rather than resist it. I’m sharing my journey here with openness, honesty, and vulnerability as I reflect on my ongoing pursuit of faith and connection with God. I hope my words will inspire and bless you as I navigate this transformative chapter of my spiritual journey with authenticity and courage.
Alex

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Calling in from Los Angeles, the City of Angels! Originally from a quiet town in Georgia, I answered God’s call to leave the green forests of my youth. I am a bi, Thai-American Christian with an itch for adventure, a knack for writing, a forever gamer, and a love of all things 80’s (primarily music and movies). After coming to terms with my sexuality in 2014, I wanted to share the story of how God walked through this journey with me. Following His lead to be an active member of the Side B Christian community, I want to create a bridge between the LGBTQ+ community and the Church, where queer people can learn about the God who loves them.
Sam

BLOGGER
Growing up with a physical disability and then realizing I was attracted to other dudes seemed to be a recipe for disaster. While it has been a disaster at times, I tend to think the Lord has used both my disability and my “gayness” for His glory. It seems as though the Lord has blessed me with both so that He may teach more people His love through me. I may certainly share similar experiences with other disabled or SSA individuals, but I encourage you to get to know them for their own perspective.
Seraphim

BLOGGER
My wife and I aspire to parent a troop of fiery children toward the Kingdom. When not putting out fires, I headbang to too much metalcore and strength train to the point of remembrance of death. As the chief of sinners, I do not have the blessing to instruct on behalf of the Orthodox Church with respect to guys who lust after other guys. However, for as long as my priest finds blogging a profitable processing tool, I pray that these pieces from a dude-loving Ortho-dad bring light and healing where they are needed most.
Aaron

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Financial professional by day and SSA author by night, I have the privilege of discussing people’s most private affairs: their money and their sexuality (though typically not at the same time). When I’m not discussing people’s darkest secrets, I am a reader, gamer, and enjoyer of the outdoors. For those who care, I am an ISFP and Enneagram Type 6; for those who don’t, suffice it to say I’m easy-going and enjoy both time alone and with friends. Jesus is the author of my story, and I look forward to sharing His work in my life!
Andrew

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Originally a Midwest native, I’m currently living my best life in SoCal, exploring the beauty of the world around me through poetry, prose, photography, and the eyes of others. When I’m not hanging out with the people I love, I can usually be found buying things I don’t need or gazing pensively out the nearest window. I hope my words can encourage you, wherever you are in your journey toward wholeness.
Keegan

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’ve been involved with YOB for several years now. I’m in graduate school pursuing a Master of Social Work degree, and I like spending time with people I love, reading, poetry, and running. I was raised Catholic, falling in love with Jesus when I was fourteen. My journey of faith has also had a parallel journey with sexuality. It took me quite some time to sift it all out, but I currently identify as bisexual. I’m looking forward to having you along for this journey!
Simon

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’m one of YOB’s non-Americans – a British guy living in rural Oxfordshire, England, where I work as a writer for a Christian charity. I have an identical twin (he’s straight) and grew up as a pastor’s kid, and both of those things continue to shape me in mostly positive ways. I’ll forever be battling through British reserve and fear of emotional honesty, but bear with me. Oh, and I love cats.