Welcome to the YOBcast, our 90-minute flagship show, featuring panel discussions on faith, sexuality, and masculinity.
YOBcast 072: Holiday Spectacular!
It's our last episode of 2020! AKA the most phenomenal year that ever was. Join Tom, Ryan, Jacob, and returning guest Nate for a fun, nonspecifically topical, yet holiday-themed episode with discussions like our favorite (and least favorite) Christmas carols and when is the proper time to start (and stop) playing Christmas music. We also dive a little deeper by determining the identities of our own personal ghosts of Christmases past, present, and future and what lessons we’d learn from them, along with our individual recaps of 2020 as we fill in the blank after the hashtag: #2020WasTheYear.
YOBcast 071: Intentional Community w/ Pieter Valk
Pieter Valk joins us for a discussion on monastic or intentional community, with particular regard to his Nashville Family of Brothers. We talk about the logistics of living under one roof with fellow single celibate male believers, not just for a season or two, but for the long haul. Through every season.
YOBcast 070: Attraction
What even is attraction? Is it only physical, sexual, and romantic? Or is it something more? Something that can be platonic yet intimate, something more nuanced and layered? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on attraction: the varying types of attraction, the difference between physical and sexual attraction, and whether it’s okay to experience attraction – even romantic – for your friends.
YOBcast 069: Fetishes
For years a certain topic has been on the YOBcast radar. But it would be a deep dive like no other. Finally, we're taking the time to talk about sexual fetishes. Disclaimer: this episode may not be for everyone as we list some fetishes in an effort to give context to the topic. Listen at your own discretion. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for our long anticipated conversation on fetishes. We start with the word's definitions and fascinating linguistic origins, and we acknowledge whether we have any fetishes. We then talk about the roots of our fetishes, if they even exist, and keeping proper boundaries in talking about our fetishes along with any attached shame.
YOBcast 068: Coming Out
October is LGBT History Month, and October 11th is National Coming Out Day. What better time than now to share some of our coming out stories? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on their coming out journeys, including how we first came out to ourselves, to God, and ultimately to others. We also give some coming out advice to those who are selectively out or still in the closet altogether.
YOBcast 067: "Side A" Friends Q&A
We're back to answer some amazing YOBBERS questions from our "Side A" Friends podcast from a few episodes back. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for another deep dive into the world of "Side A" friendships: that is, those friendships with fellow LGBT+ believers who hold an affirming view of same-sex sexual relationships. Some questions we tackle in this follow-up episode include: Would you go to a Side A friend's gay wedding? How would you pursue Side B friendship if you were the one who is Side A? And how do we apply Paul's words on sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 5 to the modern church?
YOBcast 066: Manliness
When do you feel manly? When do you feel not at all manly? Is manliness even something worth pursuing? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a return to one of our "classic" episodes in which we discuss opening pickle jars, killing cockroaches, camping out, working out, owning a home, and so much more on this simultaneously shallow and deep topic of manliness.
YOBcast 065: Loving LGBT+ People w/ Bill Henson
Bill Henson of Lead Them Home, Posture Shift, and Guiding Families joins Tom, Ryan, and Dean for a special guest discussion on loving LGBT+ people – both inside and outside the Church. How do we better understand LGBT-identifying people or those who experience same-sex attraction, and how do we love them well?
YOBcast 064: Celibacy
It only took us 64 episodes to talk about celibacy! Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on sex, singleness, marriage, healthy sexuality, and this mystical notion of "calling." How many of us feel "called to celibacy"?
YOBcast 063: The Sex Talk
We're talking about "the talk"! You know, "The Birds and the Bees" (whatever that even means). Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a trip down memory lane as we recount our memories (or lacks thereof) involving the sex talk with our parents, along with sex education at our schools. How many folks do, in fact, actually receive the sex talk as a kid? Our very scientific poll results from our secret YOBBERS group may surprise you. We also zoom out for a broader view of sex: how did our family upbringing and culture surrounding sex affect our thoughts and feelings on sex today? And what do we think of God's creating of sex?
YOBcast 062: "Side A" Friends
"Side A" people follow Jesus with an affirming position on same-sex sexual relationships. As Jesus-followers from a "Side B" (traditional) position on marriage and sexuality, is it difficult or effortless to forge friendships with folks who are Side A? Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for a discussion on their experiences with Side A friendships: both with friends who started out Side A and also with friends who started out Side B – only for them to change to Side A. Can Side B-turned-A friendships survive? How do we build healthy Side A friendships?
YOBcast 061: Gratitude
After a months-long hiatus of the show, Tom updates everyone on his new medical condition. Ryan and Jacob also join the show to share moments of gratitude from these last few months of the coronavirus pandemic. Additionally, the guys look back on their entire lives and recount moments of gratitude in their journeys with faith, homosexuality, and masculinity.
YOBcast 060: Fear
The coronavirus pandemic has consumed the planet. In this time of widespread uncertainty, how do we not be afraid? What other things in life cause us dread? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for what's sure to be a "time capsule" of a podcast. We dive into how the current coronavirus crisis is affecting our daily lives, and we also cast the conversation beyond this pandemic – starting with our relational fears, and then spreading to fears for our sexuality and spiritual fears. Namely, we ask this question: is Jesus enough? What if He isn't?
YOBcast 059 (LIVE): Favorite Blogs!
We've written over 300 blogs here at YOB since 2015, and we gathered four of our site's authors to discuss our favorite ones – recorded in front of a couple dozen people, no less. That's right, it's our first-ever LIVE recorded podcast with a digital audience! We invited our Patreon supporters on Facebook to watch and participate in the discussion with comments and questions for this episode's cast: Tom, Ryan, Dean, and Matt. Each of us reads our personal favorite blog for the cast and YOBBERS to discuss. We also mention our blogs that have garnered the most views these last four years, and Tom and Matt share lots of fun-loving "big brother" moments together.
YOBcast 058: Loneliness v. Solitude
Have you ever felt lonely within your sexuality? Do you choose loneliness or does loneliness choose you? Extroverted or introverted, do you embrace regular solitude, treating it as a spiritual practice? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on the divergence of loneliness and solitude. We talk about the healthy and not-so-healthy ways we cope with loneliness and how we seek out solitude. Additionally, we talk about the dynamic of living alone or with others as single gay/SSA men, forecasting our living situations for the decades to come.
YOBcast 057: Gay Sex and Hookups
What led to your having gay sex for the first time? Can you separate the physical from the emotional in gay sex? How many times have you had gay sex, and would you consider yourself a sex addict? It's a throwback episode with three of our original YOB cofounders: Tom, Dean, and Matt. We talk with Matt about his journey and struggles with gay sex and hookups. It's a raw, courageous chronicling of his story as a pastor's kid – a story still being written to this day. We also catch up with Dean and Matt from the last year or so, including Dean's recent exploits to Canada (and questionable Canadian accent) and Matt's sarcastic sense of humor (or actual disappointment) with Tom...
YOBcast 056: Pornography
Do we talk about pornography too much as the Church or not nearly enough? Do we "talk about talking about" pornography or do we actually talk about it? Pornography is more accessible than ever before and, increasingly, more aggressive. It's a struggle and an addiction that has reached and claimed all people: gay, straight, men, and women. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob as we take a deep dive into the science and story of pornography. It's one of our classic episodes that we're reopening in a new way.
YOBcast 055: Mentors
In the spirit of resolutions, self-improvement, and growth in this new year, we're talking about mentors: those wise, sage-like figures who guide us through this life. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob talk about their favorite mentors in books and movies, sharing some of their own mentorship experiences from years past. What qualities do all these figures share in common? We also discuss the concept of mentoring a new generation -- including whether we feel we're even capable of such a thing. It's an awesome kickstart to a new year and a new decade as we recommit to producing two podcast episodes per month!
YOBcast 054: Holiday Singleness
It's an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we've ever been asked if we've found that "special lady" yet.
YOBcast 052: Chosen Family
For better or worse, we all start with families of origin. But what of this concept of families of choice? A chosen family that goes beyond blood and DNA? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on chosen family: what it means for the LGBTQ+ community, what it means for believers, and what it means for this overlap of communities in YOB and beyond.