Tom welcomes new friend Drew Boa of Husband Material to dive into his book, Outgrow Porn. Tom shares his favorite tools from Drew’s toolbox for overcoming porn and unwanted sexual behaviors, including the breathe-observe-attune (BOA) method, “connecting the dots” from shame to glory and loss to connection, and non-dominant handwriting to connect with your inner child.

Tom welcomes back his younger brother Andy for this annual episode of previewing the Super Bowl! It’s the Seattle Seahawks vs. the New England Patriots for Super Bowl LX. We catch up on the biggest year of his life with a new baby girl – and also that the Eagles won last year’s Super Bowl.

Daniel joins Tom to recap this year's YOBBERS Retreat. As a newer member of YOB leadership, how did Daniel enjoy this retreat compared to others? We reflect on this distinction of leadership and participation with our retreat, including the challenge of not just serving a role or a function all weekend long. We also dive into our retreat's first-time art piece -- a locked birdcage with one sparrow inside and two sparrows outside -- and how this piece led to some interesting reflections from the YOBBERS.

Ryan makes his podcast debut as our first native Canadian on the show! He shares his unique living situation, splitting time in the big city and also a small town living in a house with his younger brother. Both Ryan and his brother are single men in their forties – Ryan, queer; his brother, straight. How did this living situation in a faraway town come to be? Ryan tells us the story about "taking the long way" one day, along with his initial visceral reaction to the notion of living with his little brother for the first time since their youth. Ryan also shares about formerly living with a boyfriend when he was affirming, and his journey beyond spiritual turmoil to telling his testimony for more people to hear!

Harrison returns to discuss his societally common but YOB-ly uncommon home life: a wife and three kids! He shares the joys of noise in his home, as well as the challenges of wondering whether he measures up as a dad. We learn about the farm where he grew up, including the literal closet that was once his refuge. Harrison shares vulnerably about his struggles to feel "at home" in his male body, also pointing out the beauty of Jesus' having a human body along with the Spirit's indwelling in physical bodies today. While having kids doesn’t complete a man, Harrison also shares how having children has helped him lean into more of his masculinity. Perhaps there are fatherly energies we all possess as men, even beyond having biological children?

Harrison Bly joins the show to discuss masculine friendship! Harrison is a member of our YOBBERS community and the author of Bent on Men, a book recently featured in our monthly YOBBERS Book Club. Both Tom and Harrison reference their books, sharing what happens after some pivotal friendships change, fizzle, or even disintegrate entirely after the final page. They discuss the friendship dynamics of connecting with straight men as well as fellow "Side B" men. What are the challenges or even road blocks to forming various male friendships? And what do we do with this loneliness epidemic which has hit men hard?

Matt’s been active in the YOB community for years, but why did it take so long for him to share his story publicly? He opens up about his long road of coming out to himself before he could ever come out to other people, referencing his Enneagram Three shame with authenticity and difficult emotions. He talks about taking metaphorical trips to the desert to lament his dreams of marriage, family, ministry, purpose, and influence, and he also beams about his sexuality's blessings, including a moment leading worship at his first YOBBERS retreat in 2021.

Keegan returns to the podcast after two and a half years to give another perspective on bisexuality in this SPANNING THE SPECTRUM sexuality series. He shares what resonated with Alex's bi episode, like the concept of "bi panic," along with how he contrasted with the conversation as well, such as feeling like a "minority of a minority" in our YOB community.

We continue SPANNING THE SPECTRUM of sexual identity in our community as first-time guest Adam opens up about being cross-oriented: physically and sexually attracted to men, and romantically and emotionally attracted to women. He also describes this orientation as "heteroromantic homosexual."

Tom welcomes back fellow FOUR-TIME retreat-goer Eugene to recap our recently held YOBBERS retreat. Eugene shares a glimpse into his artist’s process handling retreat decor like glow-in-the-dark nametags and tribe stones, which turned out a tad slimier and stickier this year. Our tribe times were the favorite block of the retreat this year, from heartfelt discussions to the new silly photo contest! Eugene also catches us up on a new development in his life back home: joining a porn/sex support group with all straight guys.

Daniel remembers the first time he felt shame for showing enthusiasm as a child, and how that response impacted his introversion -- a rare disposition for Sevens. He discusses his love for travel, moving from the Philippines to the United Kingdom, visiting 35 cities in one year, seeing a different country every month, and even coming to America for multiple YOB retreats. But when does a love for travel turn to escape? When is escape healthy and courageous, and when is escape more detrimental? Regarding sexuality and relationships, was he constantly trying to escape something uncomfortable, something painful, something sad? We close the conversation with the growth and beauty of a Seven who can stay put and persevere -- with others, with self, and with God.

Fives are heady types, supreme thinkers and philosophers, as Will confirms his "endless curiosity" for books and learning, and returning to school whenever he hits an existential crisis. Enneagram expert Ian Cron describes Fives as the most misunderstood type, people with emotions beneath their intellectual exterior, and Will confirms his journey with processing difficult emotions. He shares the appeal of intellectual attraction versus physical attraction for the Five, and he explains how his problem-solving nature wanted to "fix" his "gay problem" in adolescence. During stress Will admits getting disorganized and clingy, but during security he's passionate about strengthening the people around him – where, as a pastor, his Five-ness particularly shines. During times of doubt and questions, Will returns to the Gospels and his love for how Jesus makes sense of this world.

Tom and Alex discuss the qualities they love about being Fours: artistic, empathetic, and yes, unique. In times of security they're objective and productive, taking action and creating things that add beauty to the world. A Four's "superpower" is empathy, giving others permission to "feel all the feels" with them, too. Tom and Alex also dive into their dark side of Four-ness: the neediness, the manipulation, the constant craving for approval, particularly from other men. Fours are often described as people who perceive lacking a critical "missing piece," and as queer or SSA men this hits especially deep for Tom and Alex. In adolescence did they miss some critical component for masculinity or sexuality, along with connecting with the other boys? What is the path forward for a Four in those whirlwinds of emotional stress?

Dawson makes his YOB podcast debut (or does he??) as he helps us get over the hump of this Enneagram ConvoCast series! As a member of our community he opens up about the need for vulnerability as a Three, along with the core struggle it launches against the impressive persona he strives to present. We ponder the reason why Threes are perhaps the least common type in YOB – and maybe even within the greater "Side B" community? Is it simply because the closet is especially comfortable for a Three and less threatening to their reputation in the Church? Dawson also confesses why he thinks Threes are the least desirable type in the Church and how that's impacted his ability to belong as a believer.

Matt shares why he often feels separate from members of the LGBT+ community and the YOB community, connecting more strongly with straight men. He also discusses his journey with vulnerability as a point of growth in his relationships. And he confirms that if an Eight truly loves you, he's loyal all the way! We close the conversation by including ways we we can all love the Eights in our lives better.

In our season finale Tom welcomes back the "Steve Martin" of YOB podcast guests, Nate! Nate catches us up on life as a traveling artist with his giant suitcase of chalk, and he spearheads a conversation on profanity. How have our Christian upbringings impacted our approach to profanity, and is it ever okay for believers to use certain words? We also dive into character flaws and whether we can ever fully overcome those certain traits that come hardest for us. Finally, will Nate ever come back for another YOB podcast? Stay tuned for the season finale cliffhanger!

Tom welcomes back YOB’s resident artist and cuddling aficionado, Eugene, for a discussion on physical boundaries between friends. They reference both Tom’s latest blog on crossing boundaries and Eugene’s latest blog on the nature vs. nurture debate! Additionally, Tom reveals some behind the scenes magic for rectifying the technical snafu that happened during last year’s ConvoCast recording with Eugene. And the guys bounce around a new name for what to call someone who isn’t quite a YOBBER (yet)!

Join us as Tom convos with one of our authors, Ben! We catch up with Ben from his last ConvoCast appearance and talk about his message on chosen family at our recently held YOBBERS retreat. We also riff about proportional haircuts, Ben’s upcoming blog on coming out to people you love, and where (and with whom) a pastor get his support. Also, who's YOB’s pastor: Ben or Will??

Tom welcomes Ryan to talk about cooking with new creativity in the kitchen and CrossFit workouts at home during this coronavirus pandemic. They also recount Pastor Matt, AKA "Weird Jesus" from a previous YOBcast episode, and how he's bettering the world during this quarantine.

Tom welcomes back another OG YOB author, Matt, to talk about how coronavirus life is affecting him on the other side of the country. There’s been some tragedy but also some hope. Tom also promises to follow in Matt’s literal footsteps and go longboarding very soon.