Unqualified as a First-Time Leader at the YOB Retreat

Greetings! My name is Fuller, an older millennial navigating this life by continuing to surrender to God’s great plan. I reside in the area where the Ouachita and Ozark Mountains meet. One of my favorite things is traveling to spend time with friends and acquaintances alike.

Last December, I got approached to join YOB’s community leadership team. I was honestly shocked to be asked. Weren’t there more qualified people?

After much thought and prayer, I confirmed I would serve as long as the commitment lasted. In the first couple months, we discussed new guidelines for our community as we transitioned to a nonprofit organization. Then, we shifted to our biggest event of the year – the YOB retreat.

I mostly sat in for those calls and listened as people shared their thoughts and ideas for what they would like to see happen at the next YOB retreat. In late July, I was approached to be a tribe (small group) leader. I felt like this was coming, but I just stayed silent.

I had never led a formal small group before, but how could I say no to this leadership request?

Leading up to this fall’s YOB retreat, I had a lot of anxiety. Who would be placed in my tribe? What if my tribe members asked me questions I couldn’t answer? What if strong disagreements between tribe members happened that I couldn’t peacefully stop? I felt unqualified for such a leadership task as this!

I continued to feel anxiety during our first tribe gathering. But why? I’d attended four previous YOB retreats; shouldn’t I know what to ask by now? Out of our six tribe members, three were first-timers to our retreat. I felt intimidated as I wondered if some of them might be thinking, “This guy doesn’t know what he is talking about,” or “Who is this person leading?”

The next morning went better as our tribe grew accustomed to one another. Later that evening, everyone in the group shared a 10-minute story from his life. I’ve known these five individuals in some form throughout my time in YOB, whether from Discord discussions, Zoom calls, or previous retreats. I felt privileged by each one’s courage to share his story. By the end of that 2-hour tribe gathering, I’d gotten to know each of my fellow YOB members better than ever before!

Later that night, all of our attendees sat in a big circle as Tom shared more about the direction of our community and nonprofit ministry. After he shared, someone felt compelled to invite us to pray for Tom and our present board members. The four of them stood in the center of the room, and the rest of us came forward around them.

This was the most moving part of the retreat for me: laying hands on our other brothers who have probably thought to themselves at some point that they are not qualified for leading, speaking, and more. But here they are doing just that!

I thought about Moses’s conversations with God not to use him to accomplish His task of leading His people out of Egypt into the Promised Land:

But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” [God] said, “But I will be with you…”

– Exodus 3:11-12a (ESV)

“Now therefore go, and I [God] will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” But [Moses] said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses, and he said, “Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do.”

– Exodus 4:12-15 (ESV)

Moses gave two questions and excuses for God. But if God can use such men from the past, He can use you and me today, too, despite our shortcomings. God has constantly said in His Word that He is with us through temptations, conflicts, and more. Like Moses, He may even provide you with an Aaron to assist in certain situations.

Why should I be anxious? I must trust that He will give me the words and actions when needed, and also the people in my life to support me.

Have you felt unqualified to lead? How did you feel leading a group of people for the first time? How have you seen God provide for you in leadership, with an “Aaron” or otherwise?