Exploring the Connection of Gay Men and Nudism

It’s no secret that I’ve blogged about some of the more controversial topics in the “Side B” world, like cuddling and nudity with other men. These two topics often feel like open secrets that nobody else wants to talk about, with some fearing them as slippery slopes toward sexual temptation. Meanwhile, others advocate for same-sex cuddling and nudity as steps toward healthy intimacy when properly engaged, potentially serving as great boosts for those living single, celibate lives.

I want to talk about nudity again — specifically, how and why have men’s attitudes toward nudity changed? Even more specifically, why are gay men today so heavily drawn toward not just passing nudity but a full-blown nudism lifestyle?

Before I dive more deeply into this matter, I need to provide some background information.

In my blogs on cuddling, I mentioned how much I was influenced by the Art of Manliness blog, as well as other sources which shockingly shared that it was once the cultural norm for men to be more physically affectionate with their male friends. I dug deeper and discovered a similar dynamic with male nudity, including a video series showing decades-old images of naked men in pool settings (these videos have since been taken down by their owner).

The essential fact presented in this series was that gender-segregated, naked swimming was mandatory in schools and YMCAs until the 1970s. This is something that sounds shocking, unthinkable, taboo, and possibly even abusive to our modern minds.

But no, that was just what people did back then. Nobody thought twice about it; swimming naked with other men was simply the norm.

And not just swimming. Showering naked with your male classmates in an open shower was also mandatory after gym class. My parents told me such stories from when they were in school. As a kid I was actually squeamish about nudity in locker rooms, always changing in toilet stalls.

Whenever I mentioned this anxiety to my parents, they always reassured me by saying, “Oh, just you wait until you get to high school, and they’ll make you shower naked with all your classmates after gym class. But don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. It’s really no big deal.”

Ultimately, I never did have to shower with other guys — a practice long since discontinued in schools. This was no doubt a generational divide, as my parents couldn’t understand my squeamishness about changing in front of the other boys.

In the past couple decades, the idea of men being naked with other men in any context has been branded by our culture as “gay” or “homoerotic,” or even more broadly that all nudity must be inherently sexual.

It’s almost unthinkable: why would any man want to be naked with other men unless they want to have sex? I’ve even heard many men express the sentiment: “I don’t want anyone seeing my penis except my doctor or my wife.”

This dynamic is evident whenever I’m in a gym locker room these days. Virtually no younger men get naked. Most don’t even change in the locker room, opting instead to show up in their gym clothes, then leaving in a sweaty state. If a daring dude does decide to shower at the gym (in fully enclosed, modernized shower stalls, mind you), he’ll walk out wearing a towel and do a little "towel dance,” slipping his underwear on and off with his towel securely wrapped around his waist.

This is quite an ironic contrast from previous generations, in which older men have told me that if you didn’t get naked with the other boys, you were the one seen as a wimp or a sissy, or even viewed with suspicion.

Modern secular culture takes the chronological, progressive view that “people in the past were so prudish and suppressed, and now we live in an age of ‘love is love’ and sexual liberation.”

And yet men and women in the past got fully naked with people of their same sex, without question, only exhibiting modesty in the presence of the opposite sex. When did the private parts of men become private from each other?

What happened? Why did this cultural norm and societal attitude around same-sex nudity suddenly decline and become an unspeakable taboo?

Sadly, there has not been a thorough sociological study on this dynamic. I’ve only seen theories tossed around online, usually with people’s thoughts infused with politics. Beyond same-sex nudity, I’m also curious about all of the changes in how men have interacted with each other, including physical touch, emotional intimacy, and general vulnerability.

My first blogs on YOB spoke to my own journey with sexuality, and how much of my sexuality has centered around nudity rather than sex. How I went from a fear of being seen naked with other boys to desiring to see and be seen naked with other men; from secretive forays into nudism to experiences with friends at Korean spas. But I’ve never struggled with temptations for gay sex.

Thankfully, I’ve met several men through the years who have gone through similar experiences or feelings about nudity.

Some of these men had sexual awakenings that also came from getting naked in secluded parks or their own backyards at night, just like me. Some are hardcore nudists or have great interest in Korean spas — though not all of them, mind you. Many others struggle with gay sex and wouldn’t touch a Korean spa with a fifty-foot pole. There’s some overlap with both camps of men as well.

I’ve forayed many times onto nudist groups, forums, and other sites, and the vast majority of these men are gay or at least bisexual. More puzzlingly, some will claim to be straight but receive enjoyment from being seen naked by other men.

Any time I see guys putting themselves out there to promote nudism on social media — yep, they’ll be gay. And let’s just say more often than not, they’re not willing to be consistent about the platonic aspect of nudism.

Here we see an interesting split on different attitudes of same-sex nudity. Our culture has shifted from nudity’s casual and platonic nature, something that nobody thought twice about, to being a social taboo that modern gay men seem to be collectively, psychologically pulled toward. 

But why?

To be continued…

Have you noticed many gay men with a drive toward nudism and platonic nudity? Do you experience this longing for same-sex nudity yourself? Why do you think this is?