How do we walk with integrity as Side B people? Must it include a wide-scale coming out, an authenticity of the external matching our internal selves? Which experiences have defined our convictions and courage to follow Jesus as we’re doing? Join Tom, Aaron, and Will for this discussion on YOB’s fifth value, including the origin stories of incorporating more Jesus into our content as well as determining our symbol for integrity: cairns on a path!

Vulnerability is uncomfortable, even scary, so why do we value it so highly in our community? Sharing our story, including our sexuality, may have once felt like the most daunting or impossible task. And yet what would have been the cost to our lives had we not been vulnerable? What if we had stayed silent, closeted, cut off from such a significant aspect of ourselves with ourselves, God, and other people? Indeed, what if vulnerability that feels like weakness is actually strength – especially when practiced in a community?

Joy and sorrow share a tenuous connection. We explore the presence of joy in our YOB community and why it wasn’t one of our original values. We bask in the joy of retreats past and explore the joy to be found in our lives and sexualities, looking to Jesus’ example as he took the cup from his Father, following the joy set before him. Join Tom, Ryan, and Will for their first joyful episode together!

It’s the sequel to Advent & Sexuality that nobody asked for! But here we are talking about Lent, this broader concept of sacrifice, and how this particular season ties together with our sexuality. Because where else can you get that kind of podcast content? Join Tom and the "Holy Crew" of Pastors Ben and Will for a discussion on the Lenten season in our last podcast before our virtual retreat later this month! Join us, won't you?

This summer Netflix released Pray Away, a documentary following the lives of former leaders of ex-gay ministries and survivors of conversion therapy. It's a heavy film, filled with heavy topics like abuse and self-harm. This may not be the podcast for you if it hits a bit close to home with your story. But if you watched the film and/or feel ready for our conversation on it, we hope this episode can be a blessing as we walk through the film's heaviness with you.

We invite Tom's younger brother Andy onto the show to learn Tom's coming out story. Did Andy ever suspect anything about Tom's sexuality? How can straight brothers best support their gay brothers? And what does Andy think about his big brother doing this whole YOB thing?

For years a certain topic has been on the YOBcast radar. But it would be a deep dive like no other. Finally, we're taking the time to talk about sexual fetishes. Disclaimer: this episode may not be for everyone as we list some fetishes in an effort to give context to the topic. Listen at your own discretion. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for our long anticipated conversation on fetishes. We start with the word's definitions and fascinating linguistic origins, and we acknowledge whether we have any fetishes. We then talk about the roots of our fetishes, if they even exist, and keeping proper boundaries in talking about our fetishes along with any attached shame.

October is LGBT History Month, and October 11th is National Coming Out Day. What better time than now to share some of our coming out stories? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on their coming out journeys, including how we first came out to ourselves, to God, and ultimately to others. We also give some coming out advice to those who are selectively out or still in the closet altogether.

We're back to answer some amazing YOBBERS questions from our "Side A" Friends podcast from a few episodes back. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for another deep dive into the world of "Side A" friendships: that is, those friendships with fellow LGBT+ believers who hold an affirming view of same-sex sexual relationships. Some questions we tackle in this follow-up episode include: Would you go to a Side A friend's gay wedding? How would you pursue Side B friendship if you were the one who is Side A? And how do we apply Paul's words on sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 5 to the modern church?

We're talking about "the talk"! You know, "The Birds and the Bees" (whatever that even means). Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a trip down memory lane as we recount our memories (or lacks thereof) involving the sex talk with our parents, along with sex education at our schools. How many folks do, in fact, actually receive the sex talk as a kid? Our very scientific poll results from our secret YOBBERS group may surprise you. We also zoom out for a broader view of sex: how did our family upbringing and culture surrounding sex affect our thoughts and feelings on sex today? And what do we think of God's creating of sex?

We've written over 300 blogs here at YOB since 2015, and we gathered four of our site's authors to discuss our favorite ones – recorded in front of a couple dozen people, no less. That's right, it's our first-ever LIVE recorded podcast with a digital audience! We invited our Patreon supporters on Facebook to watch and participate in the discussion with comments and questions for this episode's cast: Tom, Ryan, Dean, and Matt. Each of us reads our personal favorite blog for the cast and YOBBERS to discuss. We also mention our blogs that have garnered the most views these last four years, and Tom and Matt share lots of fun-loving "big brother" moments together.

What led to your having gay sex for the first time? Can you separate the physical from the emotional in gay sex? How many times have you had gay sex, and would you consider yourself a sex addict? It's a throwback episode with three of our original YOB cofounders: Tom, Dean, and Matt. We talk with Matt about his journey and struggles with gay sex and hookups. It's a raw, courageous chronicling of his story as a pastor's kid – a story still being written to this day. We also catch up with Dean and Matt from the last year or so, including Dean's recent exploits to Canada (and questionable Canadian accent) and Matt's sarcastic sense of humor (or actual disappointment) with Tom...

Do we talk about pornography too much as the Church or not nearly enough? Do we "talk about talking about" pornography or do we actually talk about it? Pornography is more accessible than ever before and, increasingly, more aggressive. It's a struggle and an addiction that has reached and claimed all people: gay, straight, men, and women. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob as we take a deep dive into the science and story of pornography. It's one of our classic episodes that we're reopening in a new way.

In the spirit of resolutions, self-improvement, and growth in this new year, we're talking about mentors: those wise, sage-like figures who guide us through this life. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob talk about their favorite mentors in books and movies, sharing some of their own mentorship experiences from years past. What qualities do all these figures share in common? We also discuss the concept of mentoring a new generation -- including whether we feel we're even capable of such a thing. It's an awesome kickstart to a new year and a new decade as we recommit to producing two podcast episodes per month!

Pull up a chair as Tom talks about the recent decision to remove our first 39 podcast episodes. Join Tom, Ryan, Jacob, and Dean for a vulnerable conversation on letting go. Letting go of people, letting go of the past, and letting go of the future. Because if we can't let go of old things, how can we ever let new things in? Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, we talk about Tom's Lenten "masturbation cleanse," his recent trip to a monastery, the "perfect friend date," and possibly rebranding our new hit intro segment, "The Brother Beat"?

What happens when intimacy with another fails to fulfill or runs out altogether? Can we ever ask for more intimacy? Can we trust again when intimacy is lost? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob in the second of our two-part discussion on intimacy. We share more of our most meaningful intimacy stories, including how one particular moment with Ryan and Jacob is one for Tom's intimacy "trophy case."

Intimacy is scary, and intimacy is vulnerable. Intimacy can be shared or rejected. Intimacy is special and sacred, and intimacy is everyday. Intimacy is sexual and emotional, physical and spiritual. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob in the first of a two-part deep dive into intimacy. The brothers define intimacy, likening it to a fire, discussing the differences and nuances between intimacy and vulnerability. They also talk about their first forays into intimacy many years ago and what the cornerstone of their most intimate relationships has been.

Many SSA/LGBT+ people struggle to find inclusion in the church — a safe place at least, and a nurturing place at best. This episode, we bring a very special guest onto the show. His name is Matt, who among other claims to fame (which we waste little time diving into), also pastors at Ryan's church and oversees Ryan's ministry to non-straight people, Intersect. We dive into their ministry relationship and overarching friendship, also discussing with Dean issues of sexuality, singleness, safety, and nurture of sexual minorities in the church.

How do men experience body image compared to women? On a physical level and an emotional level, what does it mean to possess a healthy male body image? And how do our sexualities tie into our body image? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Jacob for a discussion on insecurities about body shapes, friendship desirability, penis size, balding, and our innate sense of masculinity.

How have our culture and we ourselves understood and expressed issues of sexuality across the generations? Join Tom, Ryan, and Marshall for a conversation on these varying generational perspectives: Tom and Ryan as millennials and Marshall as a baby boomer. We discuss how the generations have addressed sexuality and "coming out" over the decades, accessibility to pornography and promiscuous outlets, the "gay" identity and male-on-male cuddling, and the biggest thing in culture we'd like to see change with the next generation.