Where have we experienced hurt in the church, whether from our sexuality or otherwise? How do we continue in spiritual communities after experiencing church hurt? Join Tom, Ryan, and Matt for a raw discussion on our community’s church hurt stories. We’ll dive into the other side of hurt in a follow-up episode, but for now, we want to honor the pain, the loneliness, the frustration, the rejection, the abuse, the trauma, and the injustice of experiencing hurt in a place and with a people where we should have experienced life. If one of us hurts, may we all hurt together.

We kick off a new year and a new era of YOB with an examination of YOB’s seven values! Starting with HOPE. Tom is joined by Ryan and Aaron to discuss the highs of hope and the lows of despair across the arenas of our masculinity, sexuality, and faith. Where has hoping in something or someone failed us? Where have we felt hope creep into entitlement? As sexual minorities where do we put our hope on this side of eternity?

It is our first episode of 2022 as we hit the year running with a self-examination of bitterness. What do we hold against God, against others, and against ourselves? As it relates to our sexuality, where have we grown bitter in these three areas, and where is the blessing? Join Tom, Ben, and Will as we share some of our descents into bitterness, as well as our climbs into the sweetness of this Christian journey.

Bridget Eileen Rivera (from Twitter!) joins us, along with her cat. She’s the author of the new book, Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church (and just the second woman ever to appear on our show!). We discuss the burdens sexual minorities face regarding matters of so-called “clarity” in Scripture, stereotypical versions of masculinity/femininity, assumed pedophilia when working with children, and forced celibacy. Finally, we ask Bridget if her own choice to pursue celibacy stems from burdensome duty or life-giving joy?

Revoice exists to support and encourage Christians who are sexual minorities so they can flourish in historic Christian traditions. They recently held their first in-person conference since 2019, and we gathered to debrief our weekend together in Dallas! Which speakers resonated most with us? What moved us, and what challenged us? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for our recap of Revoice 2021, including an inaugural gender minorities panel that will stick with us for a long time.

Dr. Paul Eddy of Bethel University joins us for our "season finale" of sorts to discuss covenant – particularly the covenant of friendship. Paul lays out the components of covenant, including terms and signs and witnesses, and translates this particular covenant to the grander scheme of God's eternal covenant with His people. Afterward Tom, Ryan, and Aaron "debrief" the discussion: do we desire covenant friendships in our lives, or how likely do they seem? What are the draws and challenges of covenant friendship, and should we as gay/SSA believers be concerned about the perception of such friendships?

"Don't call yourself gay"; "don't have gay friends"; "pray harder for God to change you"; "act more manly"; "keep dating women until you find the right one." As sexual minorities, we often face objections from within our own faith, from fellow believers -- be they peers, parents, or pastors. How do we respond when we face objections for our sexuality? How do we move forward through the resistance? Join Tom and YOBcast newcomers Pastor Ben and Pastor Will as we dive into some common "Side B" objections. And as we reaffirm to one another and to you that you are not alone in whatever spiritual objections you face.

Pieter Valk joins us for a discussion on monastic or intentional community, with particular regard to his Nashville Family of Brothers. We talk about the logistics of living under one roof with fellow single celibate male believers, not just for a season or two, but for the long haul. Through every season.

It only took us 64 episodes to talk about celibacy! Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on sex, singleness, marriage, healthy sexuality, and this mystical notion of "calling." How many of us feel "called to celibacy"?

It's an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we've ever been asked if we've found that "special lady" yet.

Many SSA/LGBT+ people struggle to find inclusion in the church — a safe place at least, and a nurturing place at best. This episode, we bring a very special guest onto the show. His name is Matt, who among other claims to fame (which we waste little time diving into), also pastors at Ryan's church and oversees Ryan's ministry to non-straight people, Intersect. We dive into their ministry relationship and overarching friendship, also discussing with Dean issues of sexuality, singleness, safety, and nurture of sexual minorities in the church.

Why do we choose a traditional, "Side B" sexual ethic as men who follow Jesus? Do we choose this life solely for our convictions or in spite of them? Do we live out a gay/SSA celibate life with joy or in angst and suffering? Tom welcomes Ryan and Matt for a discussion on why we're Side B, as opposed to "Side A" (gay-affirming), and where these labels even come from.