Where have we experienced hurt in the church, whether from our sexuality or otherwise? How do we continue in spiritual communities after experiencing church hurt? Join Tom, Ryan, and Matt for a raw discussion on our community’s church hurt stories. We’ll dive into the other side of hurt in a follow-up episode, but for now, we want to honor the pain, the loneliness, the frustration, the rejection, the abuse, the trauma, and the injustice of experiencing hurt in a place and with a people where we should have experienced life. If one of us hurts, may we all hurt together.

After 2+ years, we’re back with a new YOBcast! OGs Tom and Ryan welcome new YOBcast regular Matt as we catch up on the last couple years of our nonprofit journey. Fittingly, with the formation of Your Other Sisters alongside YOB under our nonprofit ministry of Your Other Family, we discuss the topic of WOMEN. How well have we connected with women from childhood to today? Did we genuinely experience adolescent crushes on girls or even try dating women? How has our sexuality impacted our friendships with women in adulthood, and how have we honestly felt about the formation of this Your Other Sisters community?

We kick off a new year and a new era of YOB with an examination of YOB’s seven values! Starting with HOPE. Tom is joined by Ryan and Aaron to discuss the highs of hope and the lows of despair across the arenas of our masculinity, sexuality, and faith. Where has hoping in something or someone failed us? Where have we felt hope creep into entitlement? As sexual minorities where do we put our hope on this side of eternity?

Many gay or SSA folks experience a delayed or second adolescence in adulthood after keeping our sexuality secret in our first adolescence when we unconsciously adapted to the heteronormative culture around us. When we finally do find safe masculine circles, whether within YOB or elsewhere, conversational topics like sex or masturbation, or shared male experiences like nudity and cuddling hold great appeal – if not laced with some of that adolescent immaturity or a tinge (or bucketload) of obsession.

What is home? Do we feel at home with our families this holiday season, or do we feel anything alien? Do we dare spend our Thanksgivings and Christmases with friends and chosen family rather than biological family certain years? Or is it okay even to spend a holiday alone, if only to avoid the stress of the season? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for our final YOBcast of the year as we discuss where – and with whom – we spend the holidays. We hope yours are merry and bright!

Is fashion just for women, or can men enjoy fashion too? Is it "gay" or "metrosexual" to dress well or put a certain amount of effort into our wardrobe choices? How did we dress ourselves through adolescence, and what impacts how we dress ourselves today? Join Tom, Ryan, and Matt for a particular podcast topic Matt has been wanting us to discuss for years.

Is masturbation sinful? What if it's done without lusting? Is masturbation "solo-sex" or "self-sex," and does it breech God's design for sexuality? What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about masturbation? Masturbation isn't an oft discussed topic in Christian circles, with many folks describing their childhood discovery of masturbation as if they had been the first ones ever to discover such a secret bodily pleasure. As a result of this secrecy, masturbation has produced a lot of shame for men and women. Regardless where you land on this issue, we want to break down this shame.

We invite Tom's younger brother Andy onto the show to learn Tom's coming out story. Did Andy ever suspect anything about Tom's sexuality? How can straight brothers best support their gay brothers? And what does Andy think about his big brother doing this whole YOB thing?

Gregory Coles joins us for a conversation on belonging as we discuss his new book, No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging in a World of Alienation. We learn some of Greg’s story, growing up as a missionary’s kid in Indonesia, and his winding journey of geographical and cultural belonging in the United States. We also talk to Greg about the aftermath of coming out in his first book, Single, Gay, Christian, including the beauty and challenges that decision has brought him. We dive into the Jesus-inspired concept of bringing belonging to others, and how sexual minorities may find belonging in the Church.

For years a certain topic has been on the YOBcast radar. But it would be a deep dive like no other. Finally, we're taking the time to talk about sexual fetishes. Disclaimer: this episode may not be for everyone as we list some fetishes in an effort to give context to the topic. Listen at your own discretion. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for our long anticipated conversation on fetishes. We start with the word's definitions and fascinating linguistic origins, and we acknowledge whether we have any fetishes. We then talk about the roots of our fetishes, if they even exist, and keeping proper boundaries in talking about our fetishes along with any attached shame.

When do you feel manly? When do you feel not at all manly? Is manliness even something worth pursuing? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a return to one of our "classic" episodes in which we discuss opening pickle jars, killing cockroaches, camping out, working out, owning a home, and so much more on this simultaneously shallow and deep topic of manliness.

We're talking about "the talk"! You know, "The Birds and the Bees" (whatever that even means). Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a trip down memory lane as we recount our memories (or lacks thereof) involving the sex talk with our parents, along with sex education at our schools. How many folks do, in fact, actually receive the sex talk as a kid? Our very scientific poll results from our secret YOBBERS group may surprise you. We also zoom out for a broader view of sex: how did our family upbringing and culture surrounding sex affect our thoughts and feelings on sex today? And what do we think of God's creating of sex?

It's an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we've ever been asked if we've found that "special lady" yet.

We're diving deeper into emotional attachment with special guest, Taylor Zimmerman! Taylor's blogged at Spiritual Friendship and spoken at Revoice. He's a University of Chicago student currently pursuing his third (3rd!) master's degree with interests in philosophy of religion, theology, and psychoanalysis — and how they all come together. Taylor talks to us about attachment theory and the four attachment styles: secure, ambivalent-preoccupied, dismissing-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. It's a fascinating psychological exploration into why we attach to other men the ways we do as gay/SSA (same-sex attracted) men.

Who is Jesus? What role does Jesus play in our stories and our struggles? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Kevin for a long overdue discussion on the cornerstone of this entire community: Jesus. We talk about our individual beginnings with Jesus, our favorite Jesus stories, and how Jesus intersects our sexuality and masculinity.

How do men experience body image compared to women? On a physical level and an emotional level, what does it mean to possess a healthy male body image? And how do our sexualities tie into our body image? Join Tom, Ryan, and first-timer Jacob for a discussion on insecurities about body shapes, friendship desirability, penis size, balding, and our innate sense of masculinity.