Welcome to the YOB ConvoCast, our 45-minute show, featuring one-on-one conversations with our director, Tom, and various YOB friends.
YOB ConvoCast 064: Marshall Prefers Not to Sexually Identify as Anything
Marshall joins us as another "OG" contributor and cofounder of YOB to share his perspective on sexuality, why he doesn’t identify as gay or SSA despite only experiencing attraction for men. He also discusses a marriage conversation he once had with a woman he dated. He shares the time of his life that presented his greatest struggles with gay temptation, as well as the thing that’s brought him the most joy in his sexuality.
YOB ConvoCast 063: Matthew is Gay and Christian, But Not a Gay Christian
We kick off a new summer ConvoCast series exploring the diverse sexual identifications within our YOB community. We start with Matt who identifies as gay and Christian, but not those two identities together. He tells of his journey from "SSA" to gay and how he recently experienced feelings for a girl for the first time in his life. He shares about going to a source outside the Church to learn whether his sexual identification is as rigid as it seems.
YOB ConvoCast 062: Tom & Dawson Ponder Why Queer People Love SURVIVOR!
Dawson returns to discuss another of his (and Tom's) greatest loves: Survivor! We share our origin stories with this beloved reality show that's been airing since 2000. We spend the bulk of the episode pondering why Survivor has attracted a strong LGBTQ following over the years. Why do queer people love the show, and why do queer contestants generally do well on the show? Is survival in the game connected to survival outside the game? To close the episode, Tom and Dawson share their favorite players from the first couple episodes of the currently airing season, Survivor 44! We also wonder whether our beloved show will ever feature a Side B queer contestant?
YOB ConvoCast 061: Tom & Marshall Gossip About His Married Housemates!
Tom responds to Marshall's latest YOB blog about his straight male friends who have endured beyond their marriages to women. Marshall shares about the feelings he recently fielded watching housemate James get married, as well as catching up with old friend Ben who has a child now. Marshall also dishes about his friendship with another married housemate. Ultimately, how does Marshall stay upbeat about friendships once those wedding vows are exchanged?
YOB ConvoCast 060: Tom & Andy Fly Like Eagles for this Year’s Super Bowl!
Tom's other brother (and yours), Andy Zuniga, returns to preview this year's Super Bowl – featuring his beloved Philadelphia Eagles! And also the Kansas City Chiefs. Andy gives you his top storylines for the football-illiterate to look out for in this year's big game, including the first-ever matchup of BROTHERS. He also gives you advice how to support your straight friend if his team loses. We discuss the most attractive players in this year's matchup, the YOBBERS's thoughts on Rihanna for the halftime show, and the celebrities pulling for each team! As if you needed any help deciding who to root for...
YOB ConvoCast 059: Tom & Erin Want Your Other Sisters to be a Thing!
Tom welcomes our first woman to the ConvoCast – an in-studio guest, no less! We’ve been talking with Erin for almost a year now about the prospect of starting a Your Other Sisters community. Today we finally introduce her to our listening audience as we reference her recent blog on YOB’s impact on her life! We also give a shout-out to Matt as the only other fellow indigenous person on this podcast, learn about a significant difference between masculinity and femininity, and discover why Charlotte is SO great.
YOB ConvoCast 058: Tom & Dawson Stay Positive in this Life!
Our holiday hiatus ends, and the new year begins with returning guest and community member, Dawson! Dawson joins Tom to talk about staying positive in this Side B life as we learn more of his story. We explore our top strengths from Strengths Finder and recount some of our favorite retreat moments this past fall. Dawson also shares what he's excited for in 2023, including Second Christmas!
YOB ConvoCast 057: Tom & Eugene Got Sticky Stones at the Retreat!
Tom welcomes back fellow FOUR-TIME retreat-goer Eugene to recap our recently held YOBBERS retreat. Eugene shares a glimpse into his artist’s process handling retreat decor like glow-in-the-dark nametags and tribe stones, which turned out a tad slimier and stickier this year. Our tribe times were the favorite block of the retreat this year, from heartfelt discussions to the new silly photo contest! Eugene also catches us up on a new development in his life back home: joining a porn/sex support group with all straight guys.
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
Michael makes his ConvoCast debut as one of YOB's newer bloggers and a fiercely established welcomer in our community! He shares with Tom about his love for Seattle and how his dog Rumour will not be making an appearance in this episode. Tom recounts meeting Michael for the first time at the 2019 YOBBERS retreat, including the brave moment when Michael "came out" to the whole group, and the guys share their excitements and anxieties for our upcoming retreat just a couple weeks away!
YOB ConvoCast 055: Tom & Matthew Bro Down with Balloons!
Tom hits the road and talks with longtime friend Matt in the same room! The guys cover their weekend together in the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico), from the magical Balloon Fiesta to mystical White Sands National Park and multiple church services interspersed! The guys reminisce on 12 years of friendship, affirming one another for the growth they’ve seen in the other. They also discuss straight guys in the backseat yearning for hot girls, sharing adventures with others versus going them alone, and Jesus' fulfilling the Tabernacle of old.
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.
YOB ConvoCast 053: Ben Still has NO IDEA about His Enneagram Type!
Just when you thought our Enneagram series was finished – we're back with another Ennea episode! We promise this ConvoCast will actually be the last one on the Enneagram (at least for a good while). We wanted to tie a bow on this series by bringing back Ben, who helped kick off this series on YOBcast 095, talking with somebody who doesn't identify as one particular Enneagram type but with multiple ones. This final episode of the series is for the "Enneagram wanderers" and "Enneagram prodigals" – those who find themselves bouncing and searching among several types, and those more apathetic (or perhaps antagonistic?) with the Enneagram. We hope this broader conversation on decision-making, vices, and virtues resonates wherever you stand with (or even against) the Enneagram!
YOB ConvoCast 052: Daniel Wants a Travel Buddy as a SEVEN!
Daniel remembers the first time he felt shame for showing enthusiasm as a child, and how that response impacted his introversion -- a rare disposition for Sevens. He discusses his love for travel, moving from the Philippines to the United Kingdom, visiting 35 cities in one year, seeing a different country every month, and even coming to America for multiple YOB retreats. But when does a love for travel turn to escape? When is escape healthy and courageous, and when is escape more detrimental? Regarding sexuality and relationships, was he constantly trying to escape something uncomfortable, something painful, something sad? We close the conversation with the growth and beauty of a Seven who can stay put and persevere -- with others, with self, and with God.
YOB ConvoCast 051: Aaron Unleashes the Anxiety as a SIX!
Aaron discusses the anxiety surrounding his sexuality through the years, including coming out to others as an adult and coming out to himself in high school. He also shares openly about taking medication to help with his anxiety. Throughout the episode we read lots of YOBBER feedback, much of it centering around anxious attachment with other men: how much ongoing reassurance is needed for the relationship, and how much is unhealthy? We talk a lot about fear in this episode, particularly relational fear and this ability to live out a Side B life, but also of courage and comfortability and the Six's ability to be incredibly loyal and steadfast! Perhaps if YOB and the greater "Side B" movement endure through the years, Type Sixes will be a big reason why.
YOB ConvoCast 050: Will is Supremely Uninterested in the Enneagram as a FIVE!
Fives are heady types, supreme thinkers and philosophers, as Will confirms his "endless curiosity" for books and learning, and returning to school whenever he hits an existential crisis. Enneagram expert Ian Cron describes Fives as the most misunderstood type, people with emotions beneath their intellectual exterior, and Will confirms his journey with processing difficult emotions. He shares the appeal of intellectual attraction versus physical attraction for the Five, and he explains how his problem-solving nature wanted to "fix" his "gay problem" in adolescence. During stress Will admits getting disorganized and clingy, but during security he's passionate about strengthening the people around him – where, as a pastor, his Five-ness particularly shines. During times of doubt and questions, Will returns to the Gospels and his love for how Jesus makes sense of this world.
YOB ConvoCast 049: Tom & Alex Feel All the Feels as FOURs!
Tom and Alex discuss the qualities they love about being Fours: artistic, empathetic, and yes, unique. In times of security they're objective and productive, taking action and creating things that add beauty to the world. A Four's "superpower" is empathy, giving others permission to "feel all the feels" with them, too. Tom and Alex also dive into their dark side of Four-ness: the neediness, the manipulation, the constant craving for approval, particularly from other men. Fours are often described as people who perceive lacking a critical "missing piece," and as queer or SSA men this hits especially deep for Tom and Alex. In adolescence did they miss some critical component for masculinity or sexuality, along with connecting with the other boys? What is the path forward for a Four in those whirlwinds of emotional stress?
YOB ConvoCast 048: Dawson Loves/Loathes This Vulnerable Spotlight as a THREE!
Dawson makes his YOB podcast debut (or does he??) as he helps us get over the hump of this Enneagram ConvoCast series! As a member of our community he opens up about the need for vulnerability as a Three, along with the core struggle it launches against the impressive persona he strives to present. We ponder the reason why Threes are perhaps the least common type in YOB – and maybe even within the greater "Side B" community? Is it simply because the closet is especially comfortable for a Three and less threatening to their reputation in the Church? Dawson also confesses why he thinks Threes are the least desirable type in the Church and how that's impacted his ability to belong as a believer.
YOB ConvoCast 047: Wes Wants You to Please Touch Him as a TWO!
Since so much of the Two's identity is tied to other people, we dive into this realm of "relating with other men" more than any other episode of this series. In particular, how does a Two respond to that precious loss in male friendship? How does a Two feel a sense of belonging with a community? How important is coming out for a Two? Wes also shares about the Two's relating with God: does a Two feel beautiful in God's eyes or merely tolerable to His purposes? How does the Two experience pride and manipulation in times of stress, and how does the Two experience self-care that isn't selfish during times of growth?
YOB ConvoCast 046: Jesse Can Summon Two Hours of Fun as a ONE!
Jesse discusses his inclination to order and perfection and how that has translated to a need to "clean up" before God, particularly with his sexuality. He shares his love for lists and how he's only recently begun to prioritize tending to his sexual and gender identity. He talks about his messy stress path into Four as well as his security into Seven, including how he embraces a more spontaneous, adventure-seeking nature with his guy friends -- but only for two hours at a time.
YOB ConvoCast 045: Ryan Knows What Eggs He Wants as a NINE!
Ryan compares himself to how Julia Roberts orders eggs in Runaway Bride, and he also pleads with other types to let him just enjoy his wrong restaurant order! He discusses the Nine's ability to "merge" with other people's passions and personalities in a loss of personal identity, and we read some extensive YOBBER feedback that exchanges "peace" for "unity" as a Nine's primary motivator. We discuss some other feedback about coming out publicly as a Nine versus coming out selectively to "keep the peace." What happens at a church after Ryan comes out and serves in the children's ministry, and some parents are acting a little off? Finally, Ryan shares about the Nine's fear of neediness as he reacts to the neediness in others.