Welcome to the YOB ConvoCast, our 45-minute show, featuring one-on-one conversations with our director, Tom, and various YOB friends.
YOB ConvoCast 097: Tom & Daniel Debrief the 2024 YOBBERS Retreat!
Daniel joins Tom to recap this year's YOBBERS Retreat. As a newer member of YOB leadership, how did Daniel enjoy this retreat compared to others? We reflect on this distinction of leadership and participation with our retreat, including the challenge of not just serving a role or a function all weekend long. We also dive into our retreat's first-time art piece -- a locked birdcage with one sparrow inside and two sparrows outside -- and how this piece led to some interesting reflections from the YOBBERS.
YOB ConvoCast 095: Simon & Tom Have Enjoyed Living Alone
Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS retreat and how his first event with other men has factored into how "at home" he feels in his masculinity!
YOB ConvoCast 094: Ryan and His Younger Brother Live Together in Their Forties
Ryan makes his podcast debut as our first native Canadian on the show! He shares his unique living situation, splitting time in the big city and also a small town living in a house with his younger brother. Both Ryan and his brother are single men in their forties – Ryan, queer; his brother, straight. How did this living situation in a faraway town come to be? Ryan tells us the story about "taking the long way" one day, along with his initial visceral reaction to the notion of living with his little brother for the first time since their youth. Ryan also shares about formerly living with a boyfriend when he was affirming, and his journey beyond spiritual turmoil to telling his testimony for more people to hear!
YOB ConvoCast 092: Nhat is Married and Merges Two Homes into One
Nhat makes his debut appearance! We celebrate his 1-year YOBiversary as he tells us his “at home” story of being married to his wife of the last four years. He shares the challenges of merging his wife’s family dynamic and his own into one new family and home, as well as the joys of complimenting one another and yearning for a better home together. We also dive into Nhat’s childhood as a “PK” or pastor’s kid and how that has impacted his faith journey, including his coming out experience at 21. How did coming out affect his parents, particularly his father, in an Asian culture often marked by honor and shame?
YOB ConvoCast 089: Andrew Moved Across America for a New Home and Queer Community
Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?
YOB ConvoCast 083: Tom & Erin Celebrate Our First YOB+YOS Zoom and Lean into Lent!
Erin returns to discuss the development of Your Other Sisters, including our recently held coed Zoom call with Your Other Brothers! We also discuss this current season of Lent in these weeks leading up to Easter. We share some of our spiritual upbringings, including our experience with, or without, Lent, as well as with fasting in general. What are our motivations for fasting, and how do we practice fasting in healthy, God-honoring ways? How can we take our relationships with God in this season of Lent and continue growing them on the other side of Easter Sunday?
YOB ConvoCast 079: Alex Holds Hands with His Straight Guy Friends!
Alex is announced as our newest YOB contributor! We dive deeper into his blog about holding hands with his straight guy friends: one story in which a friend reached across a restaurant table to hold his hand, and another in which Alex extended his own hand toward a friend while walking with him in the park. What fears came up with expressing such open touch?
YOB ConvoCast 072: Tom Feels Out "Androsexual" and Recaps the Series with Erin!
We finish our SPANNING THE SPECTRUM sexuality series by learning more of Tom’s story as Erin returns to take over hosting duties! Tom shares a new term he’s still feeling out for himself: androsexual, or an attraction to masculinity. Tom and Erin look back on the previous 9 episodes of this series, giving love to all our wonderful contributors!
YOB ConvoCast 071: Erin Resonates with Queer Culture and Pansexuality
Erin returns to help us SPAN THE SPECTRUM of our community from a woman's perspective! Sexuality aside, Erin discusses a general resonance with queer culture and then explains how her sexuality most aligns with pansexuality: an attraction for people regardless of gender. She also discloses being somewhere on the asexual (ace) spectrum. Erin shares some of her journey of self-discovery with sexuality, growing up in purity culture as a woman, living in Cambodia doing missions work, eventually dating men, and getting back to America on the other side of a pandemic.
YOB ConvoCast 061: Tom & Marshall Gossip About His Married Housemates!
Tom responds to Marshall's latest YOB blog about his straight male friends who have endured beyond their marriages to women. Marshall shares about the feelings he recently fielded watching housemate James get married, as well as catching up with old friend Ben who has a child now. Marshall also dishes about his friendship with another married housemate. Ultimately, how does Marshall stay upbeat about friendships once those wedding vows are exchanged?
YOB ConvoCast 059: Tom & Erin Want Your Other Sisters to be a Thing!
Tom welcomes our first woman to the ConvoCast – an in-studio guest, no less! We’ve been talking with Erin for almost a year now about the prospect of starting a Your Other Sisters community. Today we finally introduce her to our listening audience as we reference her recent blog on YOB’s impact on her life! We also give a shout-out to Matt as the only other fellow indigenous person on this podcast, learn about a significant difference between masculinity and femininity, and discover why Charlotte is SO great.
YOB ConvoCast 057: Tom & Eugene Got Sticky Stones at the Retreat!
Tom welcomes back fellow FOUR-TIME retreat-goer Eugene to recap our recently held YOBBERS retreat. Eugene shares a glimpse into his artist’s process handling retreat decor like glow-in-the-dark nametags and tribe stones, which turned out a tad slimier and stickier this year. Our tribe times were the favorite block of the retreat this year, from heartfelt discussions to the new silly photo contest! Eugene also catches us up on a new development in his life back home: joining a porn/sex support group with all straight guys.
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
Michael makes his ConvoCast debut as one of YOB's newer bloggers and a fiercely established welcomer in our community! He shares with Tom about his love for Seattle and how his dog Rumour will not be making an appearance in this episode. Tom recounts meeting Michael for the first time at the 2019 YOBBERS retreat, including the brave moment when Michael "came out" to the whole group, and the guys share their excitements and anxieties for our upcoming retreat just a couple weeks away!
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.
YOB ConvoCast 043: Tom & Alex Love "Love, Victor"!
Tom welcomes YOBBER Alex to bask in the Hulu show Love, Victor, which follows the events of the movie Love, Simon. Alex shares why he loves this show so much, including the racial dynamic with Victor as a half-Puerto Rican, half-Columbian guy and himself as half-Thai. They also discuss one particular episode of the show that features Simon's LGBT+ community in New York. Couldn't churches learn from how this community values family, showing love to a so-called stranger in Victor? And could there ever be a Side B show like this one where Victor finds a community like YOB??
YOB ConvoCast 040: Tom & Marshall Buy the Field! (and the Puppies!)
Tom welcomes back Marshall to catch us up on his pandemic-induced overworked, yet puppy-filled life on the farm! He shares what he has always enjoyed about our YOBBERS retreats and gives some context to his "bought the field" Xanga blog username of yesteryear. Finally, Marshall shares about one of his longtime single friends, now dating a girl, and the joy he finds as a "friend of the bridegroom."
YOB ConvoCast 036: Tom & Dan Travel with Trauma Together!
Tom welcomes a longtime YOBBER to the show, and also the first guest to his recording studio! Dan has been pledging on Patreon since 2017, along with sharing a friendship with Tom that goes back to our first YOBBERS retreat in 2018. The guys discuss some shared travel stories from San Antonio to Albuquerque, including multiple traumatic events on the road that have forever bonded them.
YOB ConvoCast 035 (FULL VIDEO): Tom & Fred on Coming Out and Coming In!
Tom welcomes his pastor to the show! Fred shares some tales from a recent road trip with his mom and unpacks his call to ministry, including how he never expected to be a lead pastor. He also describes his "coming in" story: his first interactions with gay people going all the way back to high school and college, and also his learning about "Side B" gay/SSA people in the church. What advice would Fred give to anyone listening who has never come out to a pastor before?
YOB ConvoCast 032: Tom & Marshall Move for the People!
Tom welcomes back Marshall after a long YOB hiatus! They chat about delicious gourmet pop-tarts, and Marshall catches us up on life post-pandemic, including losing his father. The guys also talk about spiritual family, growing older and staying single, and moving multiple times around the country more for community than careers.
YOB ConvoCast 023: Tom & Aaron Lie Back and Look at the Sky!
To kick things off again, we talk to one of our newer authors and a first-time podcast guest: Aaron! Tom recounts one of his favorite memories with Aaron, walking through the Minneapolis sculpture garden. The two also talk about home ownership as Aaron prepares to buy his first home! We also learn the unique reason Aaron even joined YOB in the first place in 2017.