Daniel returns to discuss his life in SoCal, living with two straight men! Like Andrew, he also moved across America for a new start and a new home from the Midwest. He tells us Andrew's teased "pots and pans" story from our last episode, a snapshot of pursuing healthy communication and expectations with straight roommates. Daniel shares some of the joys of living with straight men, including the activities in which they partake with each other and all of Daniel's queer friends, as well as the challenges. What will happen if and when these straight men choose to marry women and move out? Is there still joy to be found in the seasonality of such a home life?

Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?

We kick off a new summer series, AT HOME: how our current life stages and living situations impact our faith, sexuality, and masculinity. Join us each episode for a new member of our YOB community sharing his story from various life stages and living situations. We start with our “plain old gay” Matt, who has been living with other gay men, both affirming and traditional, after 15 years of living by himself. We learn Matt’s home environment growing up, including how that shaped his view of what the future would look like. What have been the joys and challenges of sharing his current and recent homes with other gay men, and what does he think of the “optics” of having fellow gay roommates, if anything at all?

Harrison Bly joins the show to discuss masculine friendship! Harrison is a member of our YOBBERS community and the author of Bent on Men, a book recently featured in our monthly YOBBERS Book Club. Both Tom and Harrison reference their books, sharing what happens after some pivotal friendships change, fizzle, or even disintegrate entirely after the final page. They discuss the friendship dynamics of connecting with straight men as well as fellow "Side B" men. What are the challenges or even road blocks to forming various male friendships? And what do we do with this loneliness epidemic which has hit men hard?

Daniel returns to pitch this summer's special gathering of YOBBERS – in Europe! He joins Tom to discuss a smaller-scale retreat or "holiday" somewhere in the Mediterranean, inviting all who are interested to email him ASAP. Daniel also catches us up on his life in London – including the exciting news that he is now a British citizen! He tells us about one country where he's already traveled with his new passport, as well as another on the horizon to see a certain female pop star perform.

First-time guest Andrew joins Tom to discuss Netflix’s "Heartstopper"! It’s a queer coming-of-age show that many in our YOB community have enjoyed, though its depictions of queer romance could also be distracting for some (nothing sexual in the first two seasons, just lots of same-sex kissing). We discuss what we loved from the characters in romantic pairings to the loyal friendships that ultimately reinforce this show. We devote our remaining time to the show’s lone asexual character as two people in YOB who identify as asexual ourselves. What did we resonate with in this character, and where was the disconnect?

Alex is announced as our newest YOB contributor! We dive deeper into his blog about holding hands with his straight guy friends: one story in which a friend reached across a restaurant table to hold his hand, and another in which Alex extended his own hand toward a friend while walking with him in the park. What fears came up with expressing such open touch?

Matt returns to share how he celebrates Thanksgiving with his Navajo family and helps us commemorate Native American Heritage Month. Matt and Tom also discuss the topic of "Side A" friendship -- that is, friendships with gay believers with an affirming theology. Matt mentions a new Side A friend he's made, and Tom discusses his own recent experience with a Side A person, comparing it with a stilted interaction from over a decade ago.

We finish our SPANNING THE SPECTRUM sexuality series by learning more of Tom’s story as Erin returns to take over hosting duties! Tom shares a new term he’s still feeling out for himself: androsexual, or an attraction to masculinity. Tom and Erin look back on the previous 9 episodes of this series, giving love to all our wonderful contributors!

Jesse of the great City of Oaks returns to discuss his sexuality as someone on the asexual (ace) spectrum, identifying as demisexual: someone who only develops sexual feelings when a strong emotional bond is also present. He goes into the difficulties of growing up different in a sexually charged culture, as well as the blessings of being a source of safety with his guy friends.

Tom responds to Marshall's latest YOB blog about his straight male friends who have endured beyond their marriages to women. Marshall shares about the feelings he recently fielded watching housemate James get married, as well as catching up with old friend Ben who has a child now. Marshall also dishes about his friendship with another married housemate. Ultimately, how does Marshall stay upbeat about friendships once those wedding vows are exchanged?

Tom hits the road and talks with longtime friend Matt in the same room! The guys cover their weekend together in the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico), from the magical Balloon Fiesta to mystical White Sands National Park and multiple church services interspersed! The guys reminisce on 12 years of friendship, affirming one another for the growth they’ve seen in the other. They also discuss straight guys in the backseat yearning for hot girls, sharing adventures with others versus going them alone, and Jesus' fulfilling the Tabernacle of old.

Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.

Aaron discusses the anxiety surrounding his sexuality through the years, including coming out to others as an adult and coming out to himself in high school. He also shares openly about taking medication to help with his anxiety. Throughout the episode we read lots of YOBBER feedback, much of it centering around anxious attachment with other men: how much ongoing reassurance is needed for the relationship, and how much is unhealthy? We talk a lot about fear in this episode, particularly relational fear and this ability to live out a Side B life, but also of courage and comfortability and the Six's ability to be incredibly loyal and steadfast! Perhaps if YOB and the greater "Side B" movement endure through the years, Type Sixes will be a big reason why.

Since so much of the Two's identity is tied to other people, we dive into this realm of "relating with other men" more than any other episode of this series. In particular, how does a Two respond to that precious loss in male friendship? How does a Two feel a sense of belonging with a community? How important is coming out for a Two? Wes also shares about the Two's relating with God: does a Two feel beautiful in God's eyes or merely tolerable to His purposes? How does the Two experience pride and manipulation in times of stress, and how does the Two experience self-care that isn't selfish during times of growth?

Jesse discusses his inclination to order and perfection and how that has translated to a need to "clean up" before God, particularly with his sexuality. He shares his love for lists and how he's only recently begun to prioritize tending to his sexual and gender identity. He talks about his messy stress path into Four as well as his security into Seven, including how he embraces a more spontaneous, adventure-seeking nature with his guy friends -- but only for two hours at a time.

Ryan compares himself to how Julia Roberts orders eggs in Runaway Bride, and he also pleads with other types to let him just enjoy his wrong restaurant order! He discusses the Nine's ability to "merge" with other people's passions and personalities in a loss of personal identity, and we read some extensive YOBBER feedback that exchanges "peace" for "unity" as a Nine's primary motivator. We discuss some other feedback about coming out publicly as a Nine versus coming out selectively to "keep the peace." What happens at a church after Ryan comes out and serves in the children's ministry, and some parents are acting a little off? Finally, Ryan shares about the Nine's fear of neediness as he reacts to the neediness in others.

Matt shares why he often feels separate from members of the LGBT+ community and the YOB community, connecting more strongly with straight men. He also discusses his journey with vulnerability as a point of growth in his relationships. And he confirms that if an Eight truly loves you, he's loyal all the way! We close the conversation by including ways we we can all love the Eights in our lives better.

Tom welcomes YOBBER Alex to bask in the Hulu show Love, Victor, which follows the events of the movie Love, Simon. Alex shares why he loves this show so much, including the racial dynamic with Victor as a half-Puerto Rican, half-Columbian guy and himself as half-Thai. They also discuss one particular episode of the show that features Simon's LGBT+ community in New York. Couldn't churches learn from how this community values family, showing love to a so-called stranger in Victor? And could there ever be a Side B show like this one where Victor finds a community like YOB??

Tom welcomes back YOB film aficionado Eugene to discuss a recent community favorite: Luca by Pixar! We cut right to the chase with this film: is there anything gay about it? Are either, or both, of the main characters gay? How does our sexuality influence the way we watch this film? Will there be a Luca 2? Do we want a sequel? If we get one, how open are we to exploring Luca and Alberto’s sexualities? Or would such a future plot rob anything from their friendship?