Welcome to the YOB ConvoCast, our 45-minute show, featuring one-on-one conversations with our director, Tom, and various YOB friends.
YOB ConvoCast 102: Tom & Dawson Escape the Labyrinth at YOB Retreat VII!
Tom welcomes back Dawson to recap our 7th YOB retreat! We share our perspective about our retreat’s first-ever prayer labyrinth exercise, and we hit some of the other highlights of our weekend together in western Pennsylvania. Dawson shares his reaction to being crowned our first-ever “Mr. Masculinity,” and Tom shares a profound retreat moment that crescendoed with fifty men huddling around him in prayer.
YOB ConvoCast 101: Andrew Prophesies that Straight Men Won’t Fix You!
Andrew returns to dive deeper into his blog, “A Straight Man Won’t Fix You.” What led him to write this post, and long did he ponder it? Join Tom and Andrew for a discussion on the idolization of friendships with straight men, theorizing why some men in Side B spaces get drawn into the "mythical" realm of straight men.
YOB ConvoCast 097: Tom & Daniel Debrief the 2024 YOBBERS Retreat!
Daniel joins Tom to recap this year's YOBBERS Retreat. As a newer member of YOB leadership, how did Daniel enjoy this retreat compared to others? We reflect on this distinction of leadership and participation with our retreat, including the challenge of not just serving a role or a function all weekend long. We also dive into our retreat's first-time art piece -- a locked birdcage with one sparrow inside and two sparrows outside -- and how this piece led to some interesting reflections from the YOBBERS.
YOB ConvoCast 095: Simon & Tom Have Enjoyed Living Alone
Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS retreat and how his first event with other men has factored into how "at home" he feels in his masculinity!
YOB ConvoCast 093: Matt Lives in a Celibate Partnership with Another Man
Newcomer to the podcast but not to our community, longtime member Matt shares about his life in a celibate partnership with another man. He talks about splitting time in two locations to be close to his parents as well as his partner, with whom he co-owns a house. He shares openly how there was never any sort of road map to this particular kind of "Side B" journey, connecting with some other celibate couples over time. Matt shares the joys of hospitality with his partner, as well as some of the challenges of celibate partnership -- namely, translating the essence of his relationship to certain audiences, including secular friends and the workplace. Matt also shares his journey of becoming Eastern Catholic, finding a home in his faith amid his celibate partnership.
YOB ConvoCast 084: Tom & Simon Enjoy a Niche Little British Episode!
Simon joins the show from faraway Britain as our first native UK YOBBER! He tells us about his life in Oxfordshire, including a cat and his very own "flat." Tom bonds with Simon over their shared experiences in Oxford, including the very same bedroom. Simon gives us a lovely list of Britishisms, including the definition of a "yob." He also shares some of his story with faith and sexuality, enlightening us about Side B life from a non-American country. We also have an exciting update on the European YOBBERS retreat taking place later this year!
YOB ConvoCast 082: Tom & Daniel Pitch this Summer's First European YOBBERS Retreat!
Daniel returns to pitch this summer's special gathering of YOBBERS – in Europe! He joins Tom to discuss a smaller-scale retreat or "holiday" somewhere in the Mediterranean, inviting all who are interested to email him ASAP. Daniel also catches us up on his life in London – including the exciting news that he is now a British citizen! He tells us about one country where he's already traveled with his new passport, as well as another on the horizon to see a certain female pop star perform.
YOB ConvoCast 079: Alex Holds Hands with His Straight Guy Friends!
Alex is announced as our newest YOB contributor! We dive deeper into his blog about holding hands with his straight guy friends: one story in which a friend reached across a restaurant table to hold his hand, and another in which Alex extended his own hand toward a friend while walking with him in the park. What fears came up with expressing such open touch?
YOB ConvoCast 076: Tom & Aaron Pitch Posture Shift!
Aaron shares about Posture Shift, a nonprofit ministry he's gotten more involved with this year as a member of their advisory council. The guys share some Posture Shift event stories, including the first time Tom publicly identified as asexual on a Posture Shift panel, while Aaron recently met one of our YOBBERS from Scotland at a Posture Shift event!
YOB ConvoCast 070: Matt Finally Comes Out as a Plain Old Gay
Matt’s been active in the YOB community for years, but why did it take so long for him to share his story publicly? He opens up about his long road of coming out to himself before he could ever come out to other people, referencing his Enneagram Three shame with authenticity and difficult emotions. He talks about taking metaphorical trips to the desert to lament his dreams of marriage, family, ministry, purpose, and influence, and he also beams about his sexuality's blessings, including a moment leading worship at his first YOBBERS retreat in 2021.
YOB ConvoCast 067: Adam is Cross-Oriented, a Heteroromantic Homosexual
We continue SPANNING THE SPECTRUM of sexual identity in our community as first-time guest Adam opens up about being cross-oriented: physically and sexually attracted to men, and romantically and emotionally attracted to women. He also describes this orientation as "heteroromantic homosexual."
YOB ConvoCast 061: Tom & Marshall Gossip About His Married Housemates!
Tom responds to Marshall's latest YOB blog about his straight male friends who have endured beyond their marriages to women. Marshall shares about the feelings he recently fielded watching housemate James get married, as well as catching up with old friend Ben who has a child now. Marshall also dishes about his friendship with another married housemate. Ultimately, how does Marshall stay upbeat about friendships once those wedding vows are exchanged?
YOB ConvoCast 058: Tom & Dawson Stay Positive in this Life!
Our holiday hiatus ends, and the new year begins with returning guest and community member, Dawson! Dawson joins Tom to talk about staying positive in this Side B life as we learn more of his story. We explore our top strengths from Strengths Finder and recount some of our favorite retreat moments this past fall. Dawson also shares what he's excited for in 2023, including Second Christmas!
YOB ConvoCast 057: Tom & Eugene Got Sticky Stones at the Retreat!
Tom welcomes back fellow FOUR-TIME retreat-goer Eugene to recap our recently held YOBBERS retreat. Eugene shares a glimpse into his artist’s process handling retreat decor like glow-in-the-dark nametags and tribe stones, which turned out a tad slimier and stickier this year. Our tribe times were the favorite block of the retreat this year, from heartfelt discussions to the new silly photo contest! Eugene also catches us up on a new development in his life back home: joining a porn/sex support group with all straight guys.
YOB ConvoCast 056: Tom & Michael Prep for the Retreat!
Michael makes his ConvoCast debut as one of YOB's newer bloggers and a fiercely established welcomer in our community! He shares with Tom about his love for Seattle and how his dog Rumour will not be making an appearance in this episode. Tom recounts meeting Michael for the first time at the 2019 YOBBERS retreat, including the brave moment when Michael "came out" to the whole group, and the guys share their excitements and anxieties for our upcoming retreat just a couple weeks away!
YOB ConvoCast 054: Tom & Marshall, Ever the Groomsmen, Never the Groom!
Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.
YOB ConvoCast 052: Daniel Wants a Travel Buddy as a SEVEN!
Daniel remembers the first time he felt shame for showing enthusiasm as a child, and how that response impacted his introversion -- a rare disposition for Sevens. He discusses his love for travel, moving from the Philippines to the United Kingdom, visiting 35 cities in one year, seeing a different country every month, and even coming to America for multiple YOB retreats. But when does a love for travel turn to escape? When is escape healthy and courageous, and when is escape more detrimental? Regarding sexuality and relationships, was he constantly trying to escape something uncomfortable, something painful, something sad? We close the conversation with the growth and beauty of a Seven who can stay put and persevere -- with others, with self, and with God.
YOB ConvoCast 048: Dawson Loves/Loathes This Vulnerable Spotlight as a THREE!
Dawson makes his YOB podcast debut (or does he??) as he helps us get over the hump of this Enneagram ConvoCast series! As a member of our community he opens up about the need for vulnerability as a Three, along with the core struggle it launches against the impressive persona he strives to present. We ponder the reason why Threes are perhaps the least common type in YOB – and maybe even within the greater "Side B" community? Is it simply because the closet is especially comfortable for a Three and less threatening to their reputation in the Church? Dawson also confesses why he thinks Threes are the least desirable type in the Church and how that's impacted his ability to belong as a believer.
YOB ConvoCast 047: Wes Wants You to Please Touch Him as a TWO!
Since so much of the Two's identity is tied to other people, we dive into this realm of "relating with other men" more than any other episode of this series. In particular, how does a Two respond to that precious loss in male friendship? How does a Two feel a sense of belonging with a community? How important is coming out for a Two? Wes also shares about the Two's relating with God: does a Two feel beautiful in God's eyes or merely tolerable to His purposes? How does the Two experience pride and manipulation in times of stress, and how does the Two experience self-care that isn't selfish during times of growth?
YOB ConvoCast 040: Tom & Marshall Buy the Field! (and the Puppies!)
Tom welcomes back Marshall to catch us up on his pandemic-induced overworked, yet puppy-filled life on the farm! He shares what he has always enjoyed about our YOBBERS retreats and gives some context to his "bought the field" Xanga blog username of yesteryear. Finally, Marshall shares about one of his longtime single friends, now dating a girl, and the joy he finds as a "friend of the bridegroom."