Welcome to the YOB ConvoCast, our 45-minute show, featuring one-on-one conversations with our director, Tom, and various YOB friends.
YOB ConvoCast 094: Ryan and His Younger Brother Live Together in Their Forties
Ryan makes his podcast debut as our first native Canadian on the show! He shares his unique living situation, splitting time in the big city and also a small town living in a house with his younger brother. Both Ryan and his brother are single men in their forties – Ryan, queer; his brother, straight. How did this living situation in a faraway town come to be? Ryan tells us the story about "taking the long way" one day, along with his initial visceral reaction to the notion of living with his little brother for the first time since their youth. Ryan also shares about formerly living with a boyfriend when he was affirming, and his journey beyond spiritual turmoil to telling his testimony for more people to hear!
YOB ConvoCast 093: Matt Lives in a Celibate Partnership with Another Man
Newcomer to the podcast but not to our community, longtime member Matt shares about his life in a celibate partnership with another man. He talks about splitting time in two locations to be close to his parents as well as his partner, with whom he co-owns a house. He shares openly how there was never any sort of road map to this particular kind of "Side B" journey, connecting with some other celibate couples over time. Matt shares the joys of hospitality with his partner, as well as some of the challenges of celibate partnership -- namely, translating the essence of his relationship to certain audiences, including secular friends and the workplace. Matt also shares his journey of becoming Eastern Catholic, finding a home in his faith amid his celibate partnership.
YOB ConvoCast 090: Daniel Lives with Straight Men
Daniel returns to discuss his life in SoCal, living with two straight men! Like Andrew, he also moved across America for a new start and a new home from the Midwest. He tells us Andrew's teased "pots and pans" story from our last episode, a snapshot of pursuing healthy communication and expectations with straight roommates. Daniel shares some of the joys of living with straight men, including the activities in which they partake with each other and all of Daniel's queer friends, as well as the challenges. What will happen if and when these straight men choose to marry women and move out? Is there still joy to be found in the seasonality of such a home life?
YOB ConvoCast 089: Andrew Moved Across America for a New Home and Queer Community
Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?
YOB ConvoCast 084: Tom & Simon Enjoy a Niche Little British Episode!
Simon joins the show from faraway Britain as our first native UK YOBBER! He tells us about his life in Oxfordshire, including a cat and his very own "flat." Tom bonds with Simon over their shared experiences in Oxford, including the very same bedroom. Simon gives us a lovely list of Britishisms, including the definition of a "yob." He also shares some of his story with faith and sexuality, enlightening us about Side B life from a non-American country. We also have an exciting update on the European YOBBERS retreat taking place later this year!
YOB ConvoCast 077: Tom & Dawson Create New Christmas Traditions!
Dawson returns to help Tom celebrate Christmas this year! Dawson shares why he celebrates Christmas in February in addition to December, and Tom tells a Christmas tale of the first man he ever feared. We reference the "Fancy Christmas" recently spent with our YOBBERS community, including someone’s goal to appreciate Jesus’ humanity during what can be a complicated, if not lonely Christmas season.
YOB ConvoCast 072: Tom Feels Out "Androsexual" and Recaps the Series with Erin!
We finish our SPANNING THE SPECTRUM sexuality series by learning more of Tom’s story as Erin returns to take over hosting duties! Tom shares a new term he’s still feeling out for himself: androsexual, or an attraction to masculinity. Tom and Erin look back on the previous 9 episodes of this series, giving love to all our wonderful contributors!
YOB ConvoCast 064: Marshall Prefers Not to Sexually Identify as Anything
Marshall joins us as another "OG" contributor and cofounder of YOB to share his perspective on sexuality, why he doesn’t identify as gay or SSA despite only experiencing attraction for men. He also discusses a marriage conversation he once had with a woman he dated. He shares the time of his life that presented his greatest struggles with gay temptation, as well as the thing that’s brought him the most joy in his sexuality.
YOB ConvoCast 058: Tom & Dawson Stay Positive in this Life!
Our holiday hiatus ends, and the new year begins with returning guest and community member, Dawson! Dawson joins Tom to talk about staying positive in this Side B life as we learn more of his story. We explore our top strengths from Strengths Finder and recount some of our favorite retreat moments this past fall. Dawson also shares what he's excited for in 2023, including Second Christmas!
YOB ConvoCast 055: Tom & Matthew Bro Down with Balloons!
Tom hits the road and talks with longtime friend Matt in the same room! The guys cover their weekend together in the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico), from the magical Balloon Fiesta to mystical White Sands National Park and multiple church services interspersed! The guys reminisce on 12 years of friendship, affirming one another for the growth they’ve seen in the other. They also discuss straight guys in the backseat yearning for hot girls, sharing adventures with others versus going them alone, and Jesus' fulfilling the Tabernacle of old.
YOB ConvoCast 050: Will is Supremely Uninterested in the Enneagram as a FIVE!
Fives are heady types, supreme thinkers and philosophers, as Will confirms his "endless curiosity" for books and learning, and returning to school whenever he hits an existential crisis. Enneagram expert Ian Cron describes Fives as the most misunderstood type, people with emotions beneath their intellectual exterior, and Will confirms his journey with processing difficult emotions. He shares the appeal of intellectual attraction versus physical attraction for the Five, and he explains how his problem-solving nature wanted to "fix" his "gay problem" in adolescence. During stress Will admits getting disorganized and clingy, but during security he's passionate about strengthening the people around him – where, as a pastor, his Five-ness particularly shines. During times of doubt and questions, Will returns to the Gospels and his love for how Jesus makes sense of this world.
YOB ConvoCast 047: Wes Wants You to Please Touch Him as a TWO!
Since so much of the Two's identity is tied to other people, we dive into this realm of "relating with other men" more than any other episode of this series. In particular, how does a Two respond to that precious loss in male friendship? How does a Two feel a sense of belonging with a community? How important is coming out for a Two? Wes also shares about the Two's relating with God: does a Two feel beautiful in God's eyes or merely tolerable to His purposes? How does the Two experience pride and manipulation in times of stress, and how does the Two experience self-care that isn't selfish during times of growth?
YOB ConvoCast 046: Jesse Can Summon Two Hours of Fun as a ONE!
Jesse discusses his inclination to order and perfection and how that has translated to a need to "clean up" before God, particularly with his sexuality. He shares his love for lists and how he's only recently begun to prioritize tending to his sexual and gender identity. He talks about his messy stress path into Four as well as his security into Seven, including how he embraces a more spontaneous, adventure-seeking nature with his guy friends -- but only for two hours at a time.
YOB ConvoCast 040: Tom & Marshall Buy the Field! (and the Puppies!)
Tom welcomes back Marshall to catch us up on his pandemic-induced overworked, yet puppy-filled life on the farm! He shares what he has always enjoyed about our YOBBERS retreats and gives some context to his "bought the field" Xanga blog username of yesteryear. Finally, Marshall shares about one of his longtime single friends, now dating a girl, and the joy he finds as a "friend of the bridegroom."
YOB ConvoCast 035 (FULL VIDEO): Tom & Fred on Coming Out and Coming In!
Tom welcomes his pastor to the show! Fred shares some tales from a recent road trip with his mom and unpacks his call to ministry, including how he never expected to be a lead pastor. He also describes his "coming in" story: his first interactions with gay people going all the way back to high school and college, and also his learning about "Side B" gay/SSA people in the church. What advice would Fred give to anyone listening who has never come out to a pastor before?
YOB ConvoCast 026: You & the Lord on Good Friday 2021
You cannot get to an empty tomb without first getting to an occupied cross. It is finished.
YOB ConvoCast 025: Tom & Ben Think People Are a Lot!
Join us as Tom convos with one of our authors, Ben! We catch up with Ben from his last ConvoCast appearance and talk about his message on chosen family at our recently held YOBBERS retreat. We also riff about proportional haircuts, Ben’s upcoming blog on coming out to people you love, and where (and with whom) a pastor get his support. Also, who's YOB’s pastor: Ben or Will??
YOB ConvoCast 015: Tom & Daniel Dissect the Nuclear Family!
Tom welcomes back Daniel to dissect his latest blog post on the nuclear family, including a shout-out to Marshall and his unconventional household. Daniel also gives his perspective on America's obsession with freedom and ways to pass the time in quarantine…like TikTok.
YOB ConvoCast 013: Tom & Marshall Acquire Furniture as Adults!
Tom welcomes back Marshall to toss the idea of his house of 15 people becoming the next TikTok "Hype House," Marshall’s father’s declining health in a nursing home during this coronavirus pandemic, and the process of acquiring furniture as adults. Tom also closes the episode with a little tribute to pastor and dynamic speaker, Sy Rogers, who passed away recently.
YOB ConvoCast 012: Tom & Dean and the "Of Course, Tom" Face!
Tom welcomes back Dean to talk about Easter egg hunts in quarantine, Tom’s eggs, killing cacti, more TikTok talk, the IRS stimulus checks, and Dean’s love for Pastor Matt, AKA Weird Jesus.