Welcome to the YOB blog, where authors around the world, young and old, unmarried and married, tell our stories of following Jesus with our sexuality and in our masculinity.
How Can I Be Good?
I am fallen. Identity in Christ aside, I am still in a body of sin and death, as Paul said. I fight a fallen flesh every single day. How can I be good? How can goodness be a fruit of mine?
Dear Younger Me: Jesus Loves All of You
The latest song to get me spiritually musing is "Dear Younger Me" by the band, MercyMe. The premise of the song is thinking through what one would tell his younger self if he ever got the chance. Would it be some cheesy speech about enjoying every moment to its fullest? Would he warn himself of all the mistakes to come, even though those mistakes are now inseparable from the man he became? What would he say? What would I say to a younger me?
Anyone Else Feeling Super Tempted During COVID-19?
Anyone else feeling super tempted during this pandemic? Especially the longer this thing drags on? Because I'll be the first to raise my hand. I'm feeling super tempted. I'm feeling super restless. I'm actually feeling super-duper tempted and restless.
So I Kinda Sorta Have an Asexual Side?
Don't get me wrong, I am completely and utterly attracted to men. I've never been attracted to a woman in my life. And yet my attraction to the same sex doesn't go quite as far as many others' do. Ultimately, I just have no desire for sex with other men even though I'm attracted to them.
What Motivates My Kindness?
What if kindness as a fruit of the Spirit simply meant your unconscious approach to others – and even to yourself – was to help instead of judge? What if kindness manifested itself in the simple idea that when you see someone in need or hurting or broken, you desire to care for them before you desire to know how it happened?
How Should a Christian Gay Guy Dress, Speak, and Act?
Many conservative Christians believe that gay men should not only give up gay sex but also deliberately choose to dress, speak, and act more masculinely. A well-known Christian ministry posted an article last year that expressed the view that men with feminine mannerisms and dress are literally going to hell if they don't stop.
Asking My Bros for Advice About Girls
I was almost done with my turn of thorns and roses, and I remembered wanting to tell them I liked a girl. I just blurted it out: "So, I like this girl, and I think she's pretty awesome!" All of the guys were a bit shocked and surprised to hear that come out of my mouth.
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
I feel my Christian community lacking and also the LGBTQ+ community lacking. What is one supposed to do? I think we Christians who are LGBTQ+/SSA can and must push a more compelling narrative – one rooted in the Bible. The church is for all who are repentant, not just the straight ones who are repentant.
I've Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I've long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it's something I've honestly never been able to relate with. That's not to put myself "above" others; it's just my reality. Many have tried to "pray the gay away," and I can't recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have you.
Is Jesus Worth Following With My Sexuality?
Rather than blindly following Him, Jesus invites us to do a little spiritual preparation to ensure we are committed to seeing our faith walk through. As I look back on my own faith journey, I realize just how important this reflection and preparation has been in spiritually working through my sexuality.
How Waiting With Hope is Teaching Me Patience
I desire so greatly to be in heaven in the presence of my God and Savior. Yet I still wait. And wait. Every day with a reminder of my imperfections through a fallen world, broken relationships, and a scarred gender identity. Every day I long for Christ's return. Is this how I live out patience as a queer man?
Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends
I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I've experienced those feelings with fellow "Side B" friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the coin.
I Don't Want God's Peace Like a River
Being LGBT+ means that I am often in a turbulent place. Either I am around other Christians who don't understand my identity, or I am around other LGBT+ individuals who don't understand my convictions, or I am around people who cannot grasp either thing.
Loving Others More Affectionately Didn't Turn Out as Expected
2019 started out with a vision for a cosy, snug year, bundling up in the warmth of other people's bosoms. For those summer months, I was blessed to see that vision fulfilled, experiencing and giving love just the way I wanted. As for the rest of the year, well, God sure taught me another side to loving people than what I'd considered.
Authenticity with Jesus and Others Isn't Easy
While I often complain about a lack of community, I also keep people at a distance. Only during this socially distant time of coronavirus have I realized something: maybe my community felt lacking because I wanted it to solve all my problems. And finding a community that felt authentic, one where I could be vulnerable, couldn't exist because I wasn't connected with Jesus.
When God's Peace is Hard to Find
I don't feel like having peace. Peace won't give my family income. Peace won't solve the financial burdens of two massive ministries. Peace won't cure the coronavirus or bring back canceled jobs or put food on the table or anything. Peace won't do anything I want it to do right now. So, what good is it?
This Secret Longing to be Held by a Stronger Man
I yearn to be held by a bigger, stronger man, to rest in his powerful arms, to lay my head on his chest. I ache for this; I dwell on this desire a lot. I suppose, given the nature of this website, my admission surprises approximately nobody. But it's hard to admit.
A Conversation with Your Other Brothers in This Pandemic
With most of the U.S. and much of the world in quarantine or shelter-in-place due to COVID-19, we gathered our featured authors for a conversation on the challenges and calls to growth through these strange times. We hope you feel a little less alone in joining our conversation.
Isolation Amid COVID-19 and Hope for the Future
The Covid-19 pandemic has become something of an "isolation equalizer." People everywhere are living in tension and isolation with businesses closed, services restricted, and life as we've known it ground to a halt. We are, all of us, isolated. And yet there is tremendous opportunity to unite in our shared isolation.
The Coronavirus Pandemic and the "Side B" Community's Special Role in the Church
Before all the lockdowns started as the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world, I started writing this reflection about how my experience in the "Side B" bubble could play a bigger part in the Church and, in turn, the wider world around me. When this whole pandemic broke out I thought, What better time to play our part but now?