He reached for my hand and held it. It was the first time another guy had ever held my hand. His boldness caught me off-guard, and his touch sent energy rushes all over. I'd never felt this before: holding hands with another man. In public, no less.

It was an SSA guy’s dream, being close friends with ten straight guys. We had our ups and downs, but our community shared a deep intimacy.

My father's Father's Day text message sat on my phone the entire time, still waiting to be read. A message that could potentially ruin my Father's Day.

What if I did partake in male nudity in a non-sexual setting? What if I could make my nudist desires feel more normal and less of a sexual fantasy?

We all need friendships with people of the same gender and the opposite. We all need friends who are OSA, SSA, or anywhere else on the sexuality spectrum.

My nudist desires have never been entirely sexual. I've long known that it comes from a deep desire for intimacy. To be known fully as a man by other men.

After my friend started trusting me, he opened up more. And I began to wonder if he was same-sex attracted when he talked about not having a girlfriend.

I've noticed a couple different aspects of when we pray together. About the unique power in the fact that I go to God with brothers at my side.

I know the mistakes of a parent can have incredibly long-lasting ramifications on a child's life. I still struggle to this day due to things my parents did.

He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.

Inwardly my friend seemed to be bravely fighting something. Maybe drugs and alcohol were just his misguided way of fighting whatever his inner baggage was.

I've never much desired sexual intercourse with men. Throughout my life, however, my erotic thoughts and desires have centered almost entirely on nudity.

It is difficult to be present with people you know will grow uninterested in you. It is difficult to develop friendships knowing your value is temporary.

These words served as a reminder that my story is worth telling and sharing. And equally as important, truth needs to be spoken.

Sometimes it’s as if "coming out" and getting rid of the wall between my same-sex attractions and the rest of me will somehow make my sexuality more real.

As I reflect on this new friendship, I begin to overanalyze. Have I replaced one best friend with another?

His confessions showed me the actual similarities between his substance abuse and my same-sex attractions.

Growing up as a pastor's kid, I hid my homosexuality because I didn't want my father or my family to know that I was a "mistake."

It's not just that I never had a childhood best friend; it's that I'll never have a childhood best friend. That era has come and gone, that chapter closed.

And then my wife came up the stairs and saw me in my deplorable state. I was attempting to fix the bathtub plumbing. And losing.