Welcome to our blog – featuring storytellers around the world, young and old, single and married, across faith traditions and the sexual identity and gender identity spectrums, writing authentically about our intersections with faith, sexuality, and masculinity.

We don’t all agree with one another, and you may not agree with everything you read. We invite you to enter each of our stories with a spirit of curiosity. Disagreeing is acceptable; if you leave a comment, please be respectful.

Guest Author 6/29/17 Guest Author 6/29/17

Losing the Greatest Community of My Life

It was an SSA guy’s dream, being close friends with ten straight guys. We had our ups and downs, but our community shared a deep intimacy.

Guest Author 6/26/17 Guest Author 6/26/17

Finding Freedom on Father's Day

My father's Father's Day text message sat on my phone the entire time, still waiting to be read. A message that could potentially ruin my Father's Day.

Eugene 6/20/17 Eugene 6/20/17

Male Nudity Will Fix Me

What if I did partake in male nudity in a non-sexual setting? What if I could make my nudist desires feel more normal and less of a sexual fantasy?

Eugene 6/12/17 Eugene 6/12/17

Discovering the Heart of My Nudist Desires

My nudist desires have never been entirely sexual. I've long known that it comes from a deep desire for intimacy. To be known fully as a man by other men.

Marshall 6/9/17 Marshall 6/9/17

Questioning My Friend's Sexuality

After my friend started trusting me, he opened up more. And I began to wonder if he was same-sex attracted when he talked about not having a girlfriend.

Guest Author 6/1/17 Guest Author 6/1/17

Avoiding the Mistakes of My Parents

I know the mistakes of a parent can have incredibly long-lasting ramifications on a child's life. I still struggle to this day due to things my parents did.

Tom 5/30/17 Tom 5/30/17

When the Attractive Cashier is More Than an Attractive Cashier

He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.

Marshall 5/25/17 Marshall 5/25/17

My Friend's Baggage Affects Me

Inwardly my friend seemed to be bravely fighting something. Maybe drugs and alcohol were just his misguided way of fighting whatever his inner baggage was.

Eugene 5/18/17 Eugene 5/18/17

My Complicated Relationship with Nudity

I've never much desired sexual intercourse with men. Throughout my life, however, my erotic thoughts and desires have centered almost entirely on nudity.

Guest Author 5/15/17 Guest Author 5/15/17

When Friendships Come and Go

It is difficult to be present with people you know will grow uninterested in you. It is difficult to develop friendships knowing your value is temporary.

Guest Author 5/11/17 Guest Author 5/11/17

We All Have a Story to Tell

These words served as a reminder that my story is worth telling and sharing. And equally as important, truth needs to be spoken.

Guest Author 5/8/17 Guest Author 5/8/17

My Greatest Fear in Coming Out

Sometimes it’s as if "coming out" and getting rid of the wall between my same-sex attractions and the rest of me will somehow make my sexuality more real.

Guest Author 5/4/17 Guest Author 5/4/17

Replacing My Best Friend

As I reflect on this new friendship, I begin to overanalyze. Have I replaced one best friend with another?

Marshall 5/1/17 Marshall 5/1/17

My Struggles Like Substance Abuse

His confessions showed me the actual similarities between his substance abuse and my same-sex attractions.

Matthew 4/10/17 Matthew 4/10/17

Growing Up as a Pastor's Kid with SSA

Growing up as a pastor's kid, I hid my homosexuality because I didn't want my father or my family to know that I was a "mistake."

Tom 3/30/17 Tom 3/30/17

I'll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend

It's not just that I never had a childhood best friend; it's that I'll never have a childhood best friend. That era has come and gone, that chapter closed.

Guest Author 3/27/17 Guest Author 3/27/17

Real Men Fix Things

And then my wife came up the stairs and saw me in my deplorable state. I was attempting to fix the bathtub plumbing. And losing.

Marshall 3/23/17 Marshall 3/23/17

Rebirth of a Male Friendship

I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands for exclusive affection. He understandably ended our friendship.

Guest Author 3/13/17 Guest Author 3/13/17

Real Men Don't Take Baths

"How could you take a bath?" The question seemed ludicrous to me. I walked a lot that day. I was tired. My legs were sore. The bath was hot. This guy is a genuinely nice guy who loves God. But he's bought into a delusional sense of masculinity based more on actions than identity.

Marshall 3/6/17 Marshall 3/6/17

When Male Friendship Dies

Even with a better understanding of my SSA, he just couldn't take daily contact with me anymore. So, he told me he was moving out.

Our Storytellers

Tom Zuniga

YOB DIRECTOR, PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m an author of two memoirs, and I write and edit YOB’s blogs. I also love podcasting with the boyz! I’m an INFJ, Enneagram 4, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love traveling, and one of my greatest joys is anticipating the next big escapade. When I’m not wandering, I live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. My favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
Ryan

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, and long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my “comfort music” is about being far from home and/or returning home. I’m an Enneagram 9 if you’re into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!
Matt

PODCASTER, BLOGGER

I’m the board chair of our nonprofit ministry, Your Other Family. I have a slight southern accent, an addiction to sweet tea, and a smile on my face every time I hear James Taylor sing about “going to Carolina.” The older I get, I find myself resonating more and more with that old “Footprints in the Sand” poem. And I love reflecting and writing about all the whens and the ways God has carried me.
Eugene

BLOGGER

I’m a 30-something still trying to find my way in the world. Lover of all things creative, I am a drawer with an intuitive mind while also a deep thinker. I can be a person of extreme opposites: one moment a lone wolf, the next a social butterfly; one moment joyful and optimistic, yet sad and melancholic the next. As I came to terms with my SSA I met fellow SSA Christians and formed deep, intimate bonds. I’ve always longed for brotherhood and, at last, I have found it after years of social isolation. I am glad to be part of this community of bloggers and share my stories and struggles, joys and sorrows, dreams and longings.
Michael

BLOGGER
For years, I distanced myself from God and the Bible, feeling hurt, confused, and rejected by the Church and Christians whenever I sought support with my sexuality. After four decades as a Christian, I now understand it’s time to embrace the path God has for me, rather than resist it. I’m sharing my journey here with openness, honesty, and vulnerability as I reflect on my ongoing pursuit of faith and connection with God. I hope my words will inspire and bless you as I navigate this transformative chapter of my spiritual journey with authenticity and courage.
Alex

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Calling in from Los Angeles, the City of Angels! Originally from a quiet town in Georgia, I answered God’s call to leave the green forests of my youth. I am a bi, Thai-American Christian with an itch for adventure, a knack for writing, a forever gamer, and a love of all things 80’s (primarily music and movies). After coming to terms with my sexuality in 2014, I wanted to share the story of how God walked through this journey with me. Following His lead to be an active member of the Side B Christian community, I want to create a bridge between the LGBTQ+ community and the Church, where queer people can learn about the God who loves them.
Sam

BLOGGER
Growing up with a physical disability and then realizing I was attracted to other dudes seemed to be a recipe for disaster. While it has been a disaster at times, I tend to think the Lord has used both my disability and my “gayness” for His glory. It seems as though the Lord has blessed me with both so that He may teach more people His love through me. I may certainly share similar experiences with other disabled or SSA individuals, but I encourage you to get to know them for their own perspective.
Seraphim

BLOGGER
My wife and I aspire to parent a troop of fiery children toward the Kingdom. When not putting out fires, I headbang to too much metalcore and strength train to the point of remembrance of death. As the chief of sinners, I do not have the blessing to instruct on behalf of the Orthodox Church with respect to guys who lust after other guys. However, for as long as my priest finds blogging a profitable processing tool, I pray that these pieces from a dude-loving Ortho-dad bring light and healing where they are needed most.
Aaron

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Financial professional by day and SSA author by night, I have the privilege of discussing people’s most private affairs: their money and their sexuality (though typically not at the same time). When I’m not discussing people’s darkest secrets, I am a reader, gamer, and enjoyer of the outdoors. For those who care, I am an ISFP and Enneagram Type 6; for those who don’t, suffice it to say I’m easy-going and enjoy both time alone and with friends. Jesus is the author of my story, and I look forward to sharing His work in my life!
Andrew

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
Originally a Midwest native, I’m currently living my best life in SoCal, exploring the beauty of the world around me through poetry, prose, photography, and the eyes of others. When I’m not hanging out with the people I love, I can usually be found buying things I don’t need or gazing pensively out the nearest window. I hope my words can encourage you, wherever you are in your journey toward wholeness.
Keegan

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’ve been involved with YOB for several years now. I’m in graduate school pursuing a Master of Social Work degree, and I like spending time with people I love, reading, poetry, and running. I was raised Catholic, falling in love with Jesus when I was fourteen. My journey of faith has also had a parallel journey with sexuality. It took me quite some time to sift it all out, but I currently identify as bisexual. I’m looking forward to having you along for this journey!
Simon

BLOGGER, PODCASTER
I’m one of YOB’s non-Americans – a British guy living in rural Oxfordshire, England, where I work as a writer for a Christian charity. I have an identical twin (he’s straight) and grew up as a pastor’s kid, and both of those things continue to shape me in mostly positive ways. I’ll forever be battling through British reserve and fear of emotional honesty, but bear with me. Oh, and I love cats.