I know the mistakes of a parent can have incredibly long-lasting ramifications on a child's life. I still struggle to this day due to things my parents did.

He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.

Inwardly my friend seemed to be bravely fighting something. Maybe drugs and alcohol were just his misguided way of fighting whatever his inner baggage was.

I've never much desired sexual intercourse with men. Throughout my life, however, my erotic thoughts and desires have centered almost entirely on nudity.

It is difficult to be present with people you know will grow uninterested in you. It is difficult to develop friendships knowing your value is temporary.

These words served as a reminder that my story is worth telling and sharing. And equally as important, truth needs to be spoken.

Sometimes it’s as if "coming out" and getting rid of the wall between my same-sex attractions and the rest of me will somehow make my sexuality more real.

As I reflect on this new friendship, I begin to overanalyze. Have I replaced one best friend with another?

His confessions showed me the actual similarities between his substance abuse and my same-sex attractions.

Growing up as a pastor's kid, I hid my homosexuality because I didn't want my father or my family to know that I was a "mistake."

It's not just that I never had a childhood best friend; it's that I'll never have a childhood best friend. That era has come and gone, that chapter closed.

And then my wife came up the stairs and saw me in my deplorable state. I was attempting to fix the bathtub plumbing. And losing.

I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands for exclusive affection. He understandably ended our friendship.

"How could you take a bath?" The question seemed ludicrous to me. I walked a lot that day. I was tired. My legs were sore. The bath was hot. This guy is a genuinely nice guy who loves God. But he's bought into a delusional sense of masculinity based more on actions than identity.

Even with a better understanding of my SSA, he just couldn't take daily contact with me anymore. So, he told me he was moving out.

If I strictly fly the flag of my sexuality, I view the world solely through my attractions. I see everything in life as related to homosexuality.

I know what it's like to hurt, to have nowhere to go. This is why I keep ministering to people who need to hear that Jesus loves them.

"Straight-baiting" has always fascinated me: the act of tricking a heterosexual individual to engage in homosexual activities.

I still get tense and nervous and start shaking just thinking about coming out again. Some days it's better; other days it's not.

I don't want sex with another man like I don't want sex with a woman. And most days I just need someone to tell me that's okay.