Welcome to the YOB blog, where authors around the world, young and old, unmarried and married, tell our stories of following Jesus with our sexuality and in our masculinity.
My Aquarium of Sexual Desire
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.
Let's Talk About Erections (Again)
Years ago a YOB post like this initially proved to me that this site had something new and interesting to offer the world. It made me feel seen and understood like almost nothing I had read before.
This Yearning for Men
We yearn for men. We yearn for specific men. We yearn for abstract, unspecified men. We yearn for men in general. We yearn for men to yearn for other men. Sometimes we yearn for men's bodies, sometimes for their hearts, sometimes for their souls. We yearn for brothers. We yearn for boyfriends or husbands. Some of us yearn for fathers, some of us yearn for sons. We yearn to encounter, to access, and to drink deeply of the raw, earthy-sweet, intoxicating, powerful substance of masculinity. To be welcomed into it, to be wanted into it.
This Secret Longing to be Held by a Stronger Man
I yearn to be held by a bigger, stronger man, to rest in his powerful arms, to lay my head on his chest. I ache for this; I dwell on this desire a lot. I suppose, given the nature of this website, my admission surprises approximately nobody. But it's hard to admit.
A Conversation with Your Other Brothers in This Pandemic
With most of the U.S. and much of the world in quarantine or shelter-in-place due to COVID-19, we gathered our featured authors for a conversation on the challenges and calls to growth through these strange times. We hope you feel a little less alone in joining our conversation.
Revoice 2019: So Much to Learn and Love
Several of our authors recently attended Revoice 2019 in St. Louis. We gathered to discuss the second annual conference: our personal highs, challenges, and hopes for future Revoice conferences.
Finding Humility Through Beauty at the YOBBERS Retreat
Humility is not about being hard on yourself; it's about fighting the urge to stand at the center of it all. As I stood there at this year's YOBBERS retreat, an observer rather than a participant, God reminded me I wasn't there to get as much as I could get, or even give as much as I could give. The YOBBERS retreat was bigger than me. I didn't need to stand in the center of anything.
Please Don't Let Our Second YOBBERS Retreat Suck
We recently held our second annual YOBBERS retreat: a weekend gathering for our financial supporters and community members on Patreon. Several of our authors attended, and we discussed our time together — both highs and lows — in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Are We Asking LGBT+ People the Right Questions?
If we want to win hearts, we have to ask better questions. How do we win hearts? We win hearts with good news. I want people in my church community to ask themselves, "What is the good news for LGBT+ people in our marriage ethic?"
Sobering and Necessary: Our Response to "Boy Erased"
Several of our featured authors watched the film, Boy Erased. It's based on the real-life story of Garrard Conley who wrote a memoir of the same name. Boy Erased follows a young man's journey through reparative or conversion therapy, and it's also a story of a mother's and father's relationships with their gay son. It's a heavy film, and we debriefed it together in this extensive conversation.
SHIRTLESS POOL WRESTLING!!!
I don't wonder to myself: Have I, as an adult, ever embraced another man shirtless like this before? This isn't that kind of intimacy.
How I'll Heal in the Next Life
God and I are going to have some time alone together at the beginning of the next life. For the wounds to heal, for the scars to fade, and for the tears to become mere memory. I used to think healing would happen in an instant, but I'm not sure that's how healing works anymore.
When Someone Comes Out to You
Here at Your Other Brothers, we've shared advice for coming out, but what if someone comes out to you? I've compiled a non-exhaustive list of pointers and things to keep in mind when someone comes out to you.
Recognizing National Coming Out Day
It's October 11, National Coming Out Day. Over the years, countless individuals, young and old, have taken to YouTube, Facebook, the Internet, and face-to-face relationships to finally reveal their sexuality this month. Coming out is a pivotal moment in any gay or SSA (same-sex attracted) person's journey, and we gathered our featured authors together for a conversation on our own coming out experiences this Coming Out Month.
My Battle with Male Body Image
I remember being envious of the other boys who seemed so free in their bodies, so free with their bodies. I remember being envious of their slenderness, and later on, their muscles. I remember lying in bed wishing so hard that I could wake up and be miraculously thin. I remember knowing that I shouldn't hate my body but having no idea how to stop.
Revoice 2018: Taking the Church Wherever "Here" Leads
Several of our authors recently attended the inaugural Revoice conference in St. Louis: a gathering for sexual minorities in the church. Here are our thoughts on the (controversial?) conference we experienced together.
Finding Hope for Relationships and Hope in Jesus
During our inaugural YOBBERS retreat, all attendees were assigned to one of five small groups ("tribes") whose weekend discussions would focus on each of our five YOB values: hope, humility, brotherhood, courage, and vulnerability. Three of our authors were assigned to the Hope Tribe, along with seven other men. What follows is a conversation sharing some of what we learned that weekend: hope in relationships and hope in Jesus.
Can Christians Celebrate Pride Month?
June is recognized as Pride Month. It’s a divisive topic in church culture! Should Christians celebrate Pride Month? Should we in this YOB community recognize Pride Month or even attend a Pride parade? Our core authors gathered to talk about Pride Month – our response to it as Christians and particularly as gay/SSA believers.
The Male Imprints Left On Us
When we give our hearts to people we are changed, even if they never give us their hearts in return. These effects aren't scars — they don't begin as wounds — and I wouldn't call them baggage. They're like paint splashes on our canvas hearts or imprints on our soft, clay souls.
Debriefing Our First YOBBERS Retreat!
We recently celebrated our faithful Patreon community, our YOBBERS, with an inaugural retreat. 47 guys from literally all over the world united for a weekend in the mountains, and we had a fantastic time together. Several of our core authors attended the YOBBERS retreat, and we recently debriefed our weekend together.